MadCap's Game Reviews - "Hatoful Boyfriend"

 . . .okay, so this is weird.

I don't usually go into visual novels. I acknowledge the medium as fulfilling the minimum requirements to be a game, but that's honestly as far as it goes for me. I don't have anything against them, they just aren't for me. However, Tina very strongly suggested that I do this (and I can also blame @KainYusanagi for this as well, being the perpetrator of the original reference).

So, will Hatoful Boyfriend change my mind on visual novels? Let's take a look!

The game is brought to us by Mediatonic and Devolver Digital. I should acknowledge here that this is the remake/port of the game available on Steam rather than the original release, just in case anyone wants to split hairs about something. No, by the way, this isn't the special edition, so none of the extra added goodies are here - I just went with the basic game.

Anyway, you take on the role of a new girl at a high school. In the traditional visual novel style, the entire school seems to be populated by cute anime boys. Unlike traditional visual novel style, all the boys...are birds. Yes, by the way, you're human - the game says as much multiple times.

Now, when I got into it, I didn't know my character was female and I assumed that Tina had gotten me into a gay harem simulator.

. . .I'm nothing if not inclusive.

Alas, no, you are a girl. So it's not so much homosexuality as it is beastiality. Greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!

This was not as funny when I used my name for my first playthrough. For the second playthrough I went with "Kira Nerys" and given my character's disposition toward sounding incredibly terrifying and bloodthirsty in dialogue seemingly at random, the game became much funnier. Yes, I did two playthroughs as I wanted to go for some variety. The first time, I got a summer job where I helped two birds bang, got locked in a closet, got a coffee fortune, and then didn't get banged by a teacher at the end.

In the second ending, I was unable to seduce my childhood friend and so got executed by ninjas that came right the hell out of nowhere.

More on that in a bit...

"Hahaha! Your costume is ridiculous!"

The game itself is your standard visual novel affair as I said before. You have half the screen with the picture(s), half the screen with the text to read and click through, and every so often you get to make a choice. Some of them, of course, lead to branching paths that can lead to one of the games many, many endings. Some of them seem to have no bearing on the plot whatsoever, like for example, what you do on elective days.

Like, no bearing. At all. It doesn't seem to actually do anything. Even the wiki is not particularly helpful on this. Yes, by the way, this was the only time I referenced the wiki. There really isn't much to get stuck on or need a walkthrough for unless you're just trying to get a specific ending, which I wasn't. So you can imagine my surprise when I failed to seduce Ryouta and then was executed by ninjas...apparently being part of some infiltration mission by the theretofore unmentioned "Hawks", who I have to presume from the dialogue are actually hawks.

They don't get mentioned before that point, or at least not from anything I saw in the game, so I have to assume that my character didn't know and was some sort of sleeper agent...which has some rather terrifying implications.

Also why am I the only human?

The game does have some genuinely funny moments as well as some genuine pathos and emotion (the "teacher didn't want to bang me" story comes to mind, spoiler warning). The only problem is that it takes way too long to get to those moments and there's nothing in the middle that is worth your time. Every so often the game will tease something about to happen or some big twist or the music changes leading you into thinking something will happen...and nothing happens.

If I wanted this much of an anti-climax, I'd watch the series finale of Angel again.

On the whole, no, my opinion on visual novels hasn't really changed. I don't really enjoy Hatoful Boyfriend because the pace is just so absolutely agonizingly slow. You might, however. I also can't deny that the genre is widespread because somebody is clearly enjoying it. So, if you want to have a shot at ruffling your feathers, then the game is available on Steam for $9.99 for the basic version, which is the one that I got. As for me, though? This game is for the birds.

Hatoful Boyfriend is brought to us by Mediatonic and Devolver Digital for the remake, PigeoNation, Inc. and MIST[PSI]Press for the original. It is avaiable on Android, iOS, Microsoft Windows, OS X, Linux, PlayStation 4, and PlayStation Vita. This review is based on the Steam version through Microsoft Windows.