A long time ago on a blogger blog very, very near...
Sorry, I just have to gush here for a minute. Ten years. Ten freaking years. I honestly didn't even think I'd be doing this for one year, much less an entire decade! Thank you to everyone who has stayed with me through this entire thing. And yes, I know you're there even if you haven't commented or reblogged or followed me on social media. Somehow, yes, I've managed to keep a fairly consistent readership despite several sporadic bits of inactivity.
You have stayed with me for what has literally (as of this post being published) 700 posts of a man screaming out into the void what his opinions were. The fact that anyone has cared enough to read touches me deeply.
So, I sincerely say from the bottom of my heart: thank you.
No, really, I'm not kidding. Thank you.
When I started, those ten years ago, I started with a review of Dragon Age II. It was the first game I ever played in the immensely popular Dragon Age series. I say played, not was exposed to. That's Origins, and that's probably why my opinion of Dragon Age II was so negatively colored when I did play that. Is the game really that bad? Let's have a look and see if I have any mistakes to correct from my very first review.
. . .and I don't have to change a thing. My review is blameless and without sin and I stand by-oh, okay, fine, fine...
Dragon Age II is both a interequal and a sequel to the original Dragon Age: Origins. It takes a somewhat different (but no too different) style from its predecessor, using a framing device of the dwarven bard Varric (a fan favorite even today) telling Seeker Cassandra the story of a man or woman named Hawke. Rather than Origins' multiple potential origins (hence the name), Hawke was only capable of being a human of one of the two genders given. This, to me, was the game's first big mistake, given that it's essentially a step down from the previous game.
Although you can still name and customize Hawke, so what do I know? And yes, by the way, it's awkward when you go into the game naming your character Carter and one of your siblings is named Carver. Oops.
Regardless, the game follows Hawke and his family fleeing from the country of Ferelden for the Free Marches, specifically the city of Kirkwall where most of the action takes place. In fact, the entire game and it's DLCs rarely ever leave the area around Kirkwall and never leave the Free Marches at all. Again, this just feels like a massive step down from Origins. True, Origins was only in the country of Ferelden, but the play got to see a variety of different locales across that country that had variety. Kirkwall, in comparison...really doesn't have that much difference. Besides a few unique locations, things are copypasted to Hell and back.
Now, one thing I can praise is the characters - the companions in particular. Bioware really shines in writing the dialogue and, I have to admit I didn't dig nearly deep enough into it when I first played it. The companions, yes, even the ones I dislike such as Fenris (Fenris fangirls, please find the nearest bucket and deposit your hatemail into it - it makes it much easier for me to burn later) are well-developed and have genuine moments of good pathos, character development, and genuine wit and charm as you'd expect from a Bioware game.
Yes, even Isabela, who it is incredibly easy to dismiss offhand as Ms. Fanservice.
. . .I mean, she still kind of is, but there's a character tucked away behind the acres of cleavage.
. . .okay, yeah, the cleavage is nice. Very nice, actually.
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| Well-rounded character with well-rounded boobs. Everyone wins! |
The same can not be said of the plot...of which there really isn't one. Actually, I tell a lie: there is a plot, you just don't happen to have anything to do with it, at least not in the vanilla game. If you couldn't buy the DLC, it does tie into Inquisition, but only very loosely and that's a point against Inquisition ultimately more than it is against II. I made the comparison that the game feels like a bunch of Dungeons & Dragons modules glued together with no rhyme or reason...and I fully stand by that ten years later, it feels like a bunch of Dungeons & Dragons modules glued together with no rhyme or reason.
Yes, we have the overarcing plots with the Deep Roads and the Qunari and finally the tension between the Mages and the Templars in Kirkwall, but it all feels like just so much padding to get us to the actual story...and then the game ends just as we get to the actual story. Honestly, I think the problems with this game also stem from it being a direct sequel rather than a spin-off. Important things happen to the overarcing story, sure, but you aren't really involved in them.
Even choosing between the Templars and the Mages at the end is a pretty much pointless choice as we already know how the story ends from where it begins: Hawke (and also, apparently, the Warden from Origins for some reason - if not dead) has gone missing and there is a build up to something big and dramatic and destructive that's about to happen...and that's it.
The game just ends.
It's really annoying, all things considered. Just when things are getting good, it stops.
Also, I was gonna talk about the combat, but what's to talk about? You're a warrior, mash attack and kill things while using your abilities to kill things slightly faster. If you're a mage, rain death and destruction down upon your opponents or be a heal turtle. If you're a rogue, sneak around and stab your enemies in the back of the head for maximum damage. Boom. Rinse and repeat as necessary.
Also, yes, you can find armor and weapon items to help with those methods as well as help those of your companions through their own story missions - which are about the only variety you're gonna get as far as missions go, and even they often go to copypaste location hell.
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| The gang's all here...and about half of them suck. Especially Sebastian. He really sucks. |
Ultimately, the few good things about the game doesn't keep it from being a misfire and that's what this game is - a misfire. It's not the worst game I've ever reviewed on this blog, but I'd have a hard time calling it good and I haven't had the urge to really play it again up until before Inquisition came out and I wanted to get the history of my version of the world of Thedas done exactly as I wanted it done in time for that game to come out.
That, however, is a story for an...earlier day (the link is up there). Dragon Age II holds a place in my heart as the first game I ever wrote a review for, but even ten years later, I still can't say that it's all that good. It did start me on the path that I've been walking for that decade, though...one that I'm happy to say that many of you have walked with me. Whether you found my blog way back then when I was a backwoods internet nobody without even a Twitter in 2011, or if you found my blog way back now when I was a backwoods internet nobody with a Twitter last week, thank you all for reading! I hope the insane ramblings of a man on the internet have been entertaining and will continue to be so for the next ten years!
Given that my game review schedule has been nonexistent for a decade, I don't know when the next game review will come out...but I will come back.
Believe you me, readers, I will come back!
Thanks to you for following me through a ten year journey,
MadCap
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