From MadCap's Couch - "Doctor Who: The Poison Sky"

Ha ha! Series 1 reference!

So, last time we left off on a depressing note. Martha had been cloned and the world was going to be completely drowned in the noxious smoke coming from 400 million cars while a bunch of militaristic potatoes chanted feverishly.

We return to our apocalypse already in progress.

The Poison Sky kicks off with the Doctor trying desperately to save Wilf from choking to death on the fumes in the car. In what is one of the only scenes where I can actually say her character had an effect on me that wasn't utter disdain - Sylvia comes out with an axe and shatters the windshield in a single blow!

Damn, that is badass!

UNIT withdraws into the ATMOS factory and tries to seal up everything, finding themselves unable to stop what has come to pass. Martha's clone, meanwhile, hacks into the NATO defense system to get the security protocols. Ross commandeers a vehicle that doesn't have ATMOS on it - not an easy task - and Donna has a moment of indecision when Sylvia tells her not to go with the Doctor, only for Wilf to encourage her to go and not listen to her mother.

Wilfred Badass Mott. And yes, that is his legal name. I've checked.

Clone Martha transmits data to the Sontaran ship, and Staal prepares an attack squad to head down to the planet. After some news clips telling us about how bad things are getting all over the world, the Doctor, Ross, and Donna make it back to the factory. Clone Martha reveals the Doctor's message to Colonel Mace at the opportune moment, and the Doctor presents Donna with her own TARDIS key. Through some technology, the Sontarans manage to steal the TARDIS...with Donna inside, the Doctor having told her to go in to escape the gas, at least for the time being.

The Doctor tells Mace that he intends to stop a war before it starts: after all, there's nothing the Sontarans enjoy more than war.

Luke returns to Earth via the teleport, having troops of his own to prepare while the Sontarans share a mocking off-hand comment about how the humans behave just as predicted. Donna, meanwhile, opens the TARDIS door...and then promptly closes it again when she realizes where she is in a short bit of comedy.

The Doctor and Clone Martha find the TARDIS missing and the Doctor gets around through his rambling to asking "Martha" if she's contacted her family about the ATMOS gas. She refutes this, seemingly more focused on Donna. The Doctor, apparently catching on that something isn't right, doesn't tell her about Donna being in the TARDIS, saying she went home.

"I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque!"

The pair return to UNIT HQ, where Mace is preparing a nuclear strike on a target some 5000 miles above the Earth's atmosphere - the Sontaran ship. The Doctor rightly points out that the missiles won't even scratch the ship. The Doctor engages the Sontaran under the Intergalactic Rules of Engagement. This, for some reason, comes up on the TARDIS monitor...and Donna sees, for a split-second, a flash of a familiar blonde woman who keeps giving me nightmares that I wake up from and realize that I actually haven't fallen asleep yet.

. . .more on that later. The point is, Donna is hearing the conversation between the Doctor and the Sontarans. Plot point!

The Doctor, having absolutely no fucks to give, mocks and belittles the Sontarans as he works out what they're doing. Namely, he works out that the Sontarans are losing the war against the Rutans - a war that has been going on for 50,000 years. Staal refutes this, declaring that the Sontarans are always victorious and begins the "SONTAR HA!" chant again...only for the Doctor to use his sonic to pull up some mindless children's programming to block out the signal for a few seconds.

When he returns to the conversation, Staal reveals to him that they have captured the TARDIS. The Doctor then does a bit of conversation within a conversation, alerting Donna to the fact that he knows where she is and that he wants to communicate and form a plan. Donna gets Martha's superphone...but doesn't know what number to call to get the Doctor.

Meanwhile, back at the Rattigan Academy, Luke comforts his devastated flock by telling them of the scientific work they've been doing and it's intended purpose. Apparently, the Sontarans have gotten it into Luke's head that they'll transport him and his groupies to a new planet and start a brand new human race. The sheep, however, aren't getting fleeced anymore. Luke pulls a gun on them and tries to make a speech to sway them to their side. He tries to take control, but they leave, the last one out declaring him sick, Luke screaming in impotent rage after.

In the TARDIS, Donna calls her mother and grandfather. Wilf is sealing them into the house to escape the fumes, Sylvia at first being her usual unhelpful and argumentative self, but soon showing a softer side as she laments the state of the world and worries for Donna. Wilf, however, is a bit more concerned on just Donna herself. We get the echoes of Series 3 and its theme of faith in the Doctor when Wilf can't see how any one man can get them out of this, Donna declares her belief that the Doctor can.

"Martha" is scanning the gas, which is apparently only lethal at 80% density. Because of the density increasing, the United Nations has decided to go nuclear. The Doctor laments this while Staal is utterly laughing from his ship. "Martha" deactivates the missile launch from just her mobile phone...and the codes have been wiped away. The Doctor notes, again, that the missiles wouldn't even scratch the surface of their ship, so they must be stopping them for another reason.

"Staal! You must go to the Dagobah system!"

The Doctor at one point asks "Martha", as if to make it clear that he does know that something's up.

Ross and some UNIT troops are the first soldiers to meet with the Sontaran attack force, and are utterly slaughtered by them. They can't fight because of the signal that expands the copper in their bullets and keeps them from firing their guns, and they are taken out with no resistance. Even Ross, who dies just after telling UNIT and the Doctor of what happened via his radio.

The death of Ross and his fellow troops inspires the Doctor to action and, in a glorious bit of hammy rage from David Tennant, he yells Mace into ordering a retreat. The Sontarans, of course, lay UNIT out like they're hunting for sport (as Skorr gleefully notes). They seal themselves up in the factory, the Doctor being flabbergasted as to why they would do that and wishing he had the Brigadier here with him. Sadly, given that the Brig would end this episode in about fifteen minutes and with a gun in hand space technobabble signals be damned, he has to be stranded in Peru for this episode.

Sadly, Nicholas Courtney's last episode on Doctor Who was in 1989...and he never appeared on the Revived Series before his unfortunate passing in 2011. This is something I'd like to blame on Russell and his crippling fear of continuity that wasn't written by him, but Steven Moffat is likewise guilty of this.

Nicholas Courtney appeared in 107 episodes of Doctor Who, more than every regular companion and some of the Doctors themselves. He appeared with every single of the classic show Doctors onscreen with the exception of Colin Baker (no, Dimensions in Time doesn't count because shut up) and, while Battlefield is a great episode blending science fiction and fantasy elements, the fact that he wasn't involved in the New Series is an absolute crime.

. . .yes, I know he appeared in The Sarah Jane Adventures, but that hardly counts.

Regardless, we return to the plot. Luke returns to the Sontaran ship and woefully reports that his cult didn't follow him...and learns that Staal and the Sontarans never intended to take them anywhere. As the Sontarans close off the teleport links, Luke manages to escape execution and return to Earth. He is a beaten, crying shell of a human being...his hopes and dreams utterly and completely dashed.

Back at UNIT, Mace heads off to figure out a way around the Sontaran's bullet blocking signal while the Doctor phones Donna. The Doctor tells Donna that he tricked the Sontarans into moving the TARDIS off the bridge expressly so that Donna could get aboard and move around so she can reactivate the teleport link and get them into the factory - where the Doctor's worked out that the Sontarans have something they're trying to keep away from UNIT.

She doubts her ability to do this, saying she can't even mend a fuse, but the Doctor encourages. Donna then plays Hitman for a bit and takes one of the Sontarans out via the probic vent using the Doctor's "hit it 'til it works!" hammer. As she heads to find the teleport feed, again playing Hitman, the Doctor runs to Mace...who hands him a gas mask.

Outside, Mace shows some new bullets that should overcome the episode's budget proble-I mean, stop the signal. He also makes a speech to encourage his troops...and uh...

Thanks, Spike!

Yeah, no, Mace isn't that good. However, what is good is the return of the Valiant, which blows the gas away from around the factory.

I still say that S.H.I.E.L.D. will have a lawsuit pending.

Nevertheless, the Sontarans are robbed of their two biggest advantages as the Valiant blows the doors of the factory wide open. UNIT activates the "Five Rounds Rapid" protocol and starts beating the potato heads down into the dirt. The Doctor and "Martha", meanwhile, head after the alien signal and find the noxious green liquid room...and actual Martha. Clontha pulls a gun on him, and the Doctor is less than impressed. He plays on the clone's memories of Martha a bit...and then severs the connection keeping the Clone and Martha connected.

Martha is free...and becomes conscious again rather suddenly, and just in time to watch herself die with really no frame of reference. Of course, she saw the clone becoming her in the previous episode...so I'm not exactly sure about that. Maybe she forgot? Or trauma? Or any number of things might have happened? No idea. It's a weird plot hole.

Also, Mace kills Skorr, avenging Ross. Good on you, Mace.

Martha, as Clontha is dying, manages to play on her memories as well to get her to tell them what the Sontarans' plan is. The Sontarans are planning to convert Earth into a clone planet, from which they'll create billions of new soldiers. Clontha then dies, us getting a mournful moment as Martha takes her engagement ring back from it...and the chorus chants as though to sidestep the fact that the Doctor just outright murdered a sentient being...which is kind of funny given the next episode, but never mind that now.

On the Sontaran ship, Donna uses multi-mobile reflection sorting and the Doctor gets Donna out at the last possible second. He also pulls the TARDIS out before teleporting himself, Donna, and Martha to the Rattigan Academy. The Doctor breezes through a panicked Luke, disarming him of his gun almost without effort, and gets to work. He reasons the Sontarans were stopping the missiles not because of their damage to the ship, but damage to the atmosphere of their new clone world. With some jiggery-pokery, the Doctor builds an activates an atmospheric convert, shooting a single beam of red energy in the sky that destroys all of the ATMOS gas in one go!

. . .damn, Doctor. That's a land-speed record even for you!

Despite that, there's still a Sontaran warship in orbit. With the flip of a few switches on his device, the Doctor plans to ignite the air in the Sontaran ship, killing them all. He thanks Donna, Martha, and tells Luke to do something clever with his life...and teleports onto the ship, determined to give the Sontarans a choice.

. . .they had a choice, Doctor. It was not screwing with the Earth and nearly killing off the entire population. Kind of like in Last of the Time Lords, Doctor, your morality is a little skewed here.

The Doctor tries to talk Staal down while the Sontarans arm every weapon ever to turn the surface of the Earth into molten glass. Luke, on Earth, begins to rewire the teleport. He switches places with the Doctor, taking the controls. Staal's face breaks out into utter confusion and panic as Luke Rattigan gives two last, defiant words:

"Sontar Ha!"

No joke here. Gotta give credit where it's due.
Luke's last moments are pretty badass.

The Sontaran ship is destroyed with the push of a button, the oxygen within being ignited. Within moments, Staal and his entire fighting force are atomized. The Doctor returns to Earth to be greeted by Donna and Martha, all of them sharing a quiet moment with the day saved.

Back in London, life seems to have returned to normal. People go about their day as though the world didn't just almost end. Sylvia notes that there are less people using cars now, people walking and even children on bikes to hammer home the environmental message that didn't really need hammering home. Wilf promises Donna that he won't tell Sylvia what happened, them agreeing that it's probably for the best. He also, again, encourages Donna to go out with the Doctor, that wonderful Doctor, and go see the stars.

. . .and bring a bit of it back for her old gramps. They embrace. Catherine Tate and Bernard Cribbins have such fantastic chemistry.

Donna returns to the TARDIS to find the Doctor and Martha waiting for her. With her family settled, Donna extends the invitation to Martha to come along with them. While she has missed this, Martha says that she's good here on Earth. As she goes to leave, though...the door of the TARDIS slams shut. It takes off seemingly entirely on its own. Martha protests, but the Doctor insists that he had nothing to do with it...and he looks down beneath the console to see his severed hand he got from Captain Jack bubbling angrily...

The episode ends with the TARDIS careening through the Vortex to an unknown destination...

The Poison Sky is a pretty good episode. The ending with the equipment from the Rattigan Academy can feel like a bit of a deus ex machima, but it does feel like it's set up at least somewhat well. The Sontarans are a pretty good threat even when UNIT works around their tech (while the UNIT soldiers start curbstomping them, it's only really in relation to how the Sontarans were essentially walking through them earlier). The plan actually manages to make sense through all of its steps, and the Sontarans do actually approach it with military precision that only gets foiled because of the Doctor riding in and being the Doctor as he usually is.

It's neat to see UNIT in action as well, being the military defense force they've been for the planet Earth since the 1970's (or was it the 1980's?). The fact that they're played straight in this episode and are actually shown as somewhat competent rather than just mindless grunts or stereotypes of gun happy jerks is pretty awesome. Ross, in particular, was a joy in these two episodes and it's honestly a shame that he died. His actor, Christian Cooke, had a great chemistry with David Tennant. I'm not saying he should have been a regular companion, but it would have been neat to have a familiar face from UNIT whenever an Earth-bound story with them happened, almost as a callback to the Pertwee era.

Next time, we get into an episode that is controversial for some...and for good reason. I like the titular character in it, but I admit that it has many problems. Many, many problems. We'll be getting into those next week when we, at last, tackle The Doctor's Daughter.