MadCap's Game Reviews - "Deepest Sword"

What? 

. . .

. . .no, really, what? Why are you looking at the screen like that?

Every so often, it pays to actually have ads on. Every once in a while. Don't worry, this isn't my "Hail HYDRA!" moment, just a one in a million time of rampant commercialism actually managing to produce something useful and not me just quietly waiting for the cold embrace of death whenever there isn't a "Skip Ad" button available.

Hence was the case when I became aware of Deepest Sword, a game by developer Cosmic Adventure Squad and is available for free on their website. It's a puzzle platformer where you, a brave knight, must enter the Cave of Longing with your mighty sword in hand in order to plunge your sword deep into the heart of a dragon in order to get your kitty and-

Oh.

Ohhhh, okay. I get it. You guys are really avid cat fans. Well, don't worry, the pussycat is safe. Totally, totally safe is that pussycat.

Look, I'm trying here. I've had a long day.

However, the puzzle part of the puzzle platformer comes along when you reach the dragon, roasts you for your pathetic little sword...and then roasts you. However, you luckily have friends to give you a second wind as well as a third, fourth, and so on winds. They also give you an even bigger sword each time as well, although this comes with the difficulties of the platform puzzles increasing as you not only have to maneuver the weapon, but also have to handle its weight which can throw off your balance.

You don't jump, though I suppose that would be a facet of gameplay that would overcomplicate things with a pretty delicate (yet well-maintained) balance. Instead, you manage to run to the left and right while having to adjust the arc of your sword and managing its weight as it gets bigger and bigger and you can do naught by wait for the inevitable.

That's really all there is to it. Get through the increasingly deeper and deeper Cavern of Longing, maneuver your sword with care and dedication through every nook and cranny before finally reaching the dragon. There's nothing quite like the feeling of blissful elation as you go through the gauntlet again and again, plunging your blade deeper and deeper and deeper still into the dragon, trying with all your might to slay the beast. Finally, at its apex, you pierce its depths and bring the beast screaming to its end, and out of the cage comes your beloved pussycat, ready for you to-

. . .

. . .oh, my God! OH, GOD! OH, I GET IT NOW! OH, GOD, IT'S SO DIRTY!!! EWWW! EWWWWWW!

Deepest Sword is now available from Cosmic Adventure Squad at the above link. It's free!