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| Seriously. Why? Why is this here? |
Sounds like a recipe for success, right?
Kinda, actually.
Tooth and Claw begins with a bunch of monks using kung fu to take over an estate out in the Scottish countryside. They will then proceed to never use these skills again in the entire episode. After the monks get the household staff into the basement, they bring down a cage covered by a canvas sheet. When the sheet is pulled away, whatever is within causes the people to scream.
Given what we find out is under the sheet and how it works...this is kind of confusing.
Elsewhen, the Doctor and Rose are planning to go to 1979 to attend a rock concert...only to end up in 1879, the Doctor using the "same difference" defense. They are accosted by the entourage of her majesty, Queen Victoria and we get the hilarious first instance of the companion trying to speak like a local...which I'm sure will never get old.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Given that Victoria would be played by future companion actor Jenna Louise-Coleman sometime later, this is rather amusing when you consider some revelations that came out about her character in later seasons and how Queen Victoria is used in this episode. More on that much later.
But the Doctor affects a Scottish accent (actually David Tennant's natural accent) and manages to use the Psychic Paper to BS his and Rose's way to join the Queen. As they leave, Rose makes a bet with the Doctor that she can get Queen Victoria to say "I am not amused". A hilarious running joke that will definitely not completely ruin the high moments of tension or drama in the episode.
And why, yes, every single instance of it coming up will be added to the counter as they come up!
Rose Tyler is Awful Count: 5,055,636,216
While I'm a bit peeved about the Doctor going along with it as well - even making a ten quid bet - I'll say again what I've probably said before that I won't get a counter up for him because he'd most likely break it in a single episode. Especially episodes in the Russell T. Davies era.
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| "I bet you five quid I can make myself more annoying." "I dunno..." "Ten quid?" "Done." |
The group soon arrives at the Torchwood House, home of Sir Robert MacLeish. Despite him very clearly dropping hints without words that things are not right, Queen Vic is intent on staying because we wouldn't have a plot otherwise. The Queen's guards also take a peculiar box to lock away, the Doctor and Rose being warned to forget about what they saw. Slightly before that, Rose gets her first attempt at getting Queen Victoria to say "I am not amused".
Rose Tyler is Awful Count: 5,055,636,217
And her second.
Rose Tyler is Awful Count: 5,055,636,218
Then, Sir Robert and Queen Victoria drop a bunch of exposition about how the House was a favorite of the late Prince Albert and that he was close friends with Sir Robert's father. They also showcase a telescope that the Doctor insists has too many prisms for simple stargazing. The totally not obviously evil butler monks suggest getting ready for dinner. Everyone goes to rooms, including Rose who ends up finding one of the staff - absolutely terrified - in a dresser. Rose insists on telling the Doctor, and is promptly captured after finding an unconscious guard.
It seems the monks have slipped sleeping pills into all the guards' drinks...oops!
In one of the highlights of the episode, the Doctor, Queen Victoria, Reynolds (the Captain of her Guard), and Sir Robert are all gathered around the dinner table. Sir Robert regales them with the stories of the wolf, a local legend. Pauline Collins does a fantastic job showing the sorrow of Queen Victoria at the loss of her beloved husband, keeping a stoic but clearly very pained expression and tone as she talks about him and the hopes of having some contact with him from beyond. It's really beautifully done.
Unfortunately, we get on with the plot from here. Rose finds herself chained up in the basement with Lady MacLeigh and the rest of the serving staff along with the figure from the cold open - a hooded man in a cage. Given the visual, it's kind of weird that everyone was screaming at it...but never mind. Rose begins to ask him what planet he's from and offers to take him back, but he'll have none of it. He makes a Bad Wolf reference (because Russell is trying desperately to make sure you thought that was a thing - and it's not) to Rose while talking ominously about how he intends to bite Queen Victoria and start an 'Empire of the Wolf'.
As awesome as that would be, this isn't Classic Who where the Doctor would let history be changed if the writer woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning.
The Father among the monks begins chanting at the window, the Doctor managing to finally put two and two together. He demands to know where Rose is and what is going on while Sir Robert apologizes to the Queen for this, saying they had his wife. He and the Doctor rush for the cellar while Victoria and Reynolds are left to deal with the Father, who quickly disables the latter.
The Doctor and Sir Robert arrive on the scene just as Rose and the staff break free, Rose rightly berating the Doctor for taking so long to get to them. Granted, Rose never met the Seventh Doctor, but I like to think that Seven is out there in the cosmos facepalming every time Ten falls for something like this and he doesn't know why. The werewolf emerges from the cage, howling at the moon in what is a very effective trailer shot. The Doctor stares in awe before sealing the doors with the sonic screwdriver after everyone's escaped.
Back in the dining room, the Father is berated by Victoria. She has had multiple attempts on her life and is not unprepared, signifying this by pulling a revolver from her bag. He scoffs at this, demeaning her by her gender. Her response?
"The correct form of address is 'Your Majesty'!"And then she shoots him dead. Bad. Ass.
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| "Yippee ki yay, fornicators of matriarchs!" |
Lady Isobel, Sir Robert's wife, and her staff make their way to the kitchens. Several men are taken out by the werewolf while they, the Doctor, Sir Robert, and Rose escape. The werewolf does not, however, pursue them into the kitchens. Lady Isobel quickly works out why - the mistletoe that had been left out.
Meanwhile, the Doctor, Rose, and Sir Robert meet up with Victoria again after she's retrieved that strange box from its hiding place. Reynolds come along to buy them time as the four of them rush into the library. He makes a valiant effort, but is soon torn apart. Oddly, however, the werewolf doesn't break down the door. The Doctor drops his Scottish accent and begins to work things out, much to the consternation of Victoria. She is having absolutely none of this. Since they are in a library, however, the Doctor enacts the Reading Rainbow gambit and they begin to look into whatever Sir Robert's father might have left behind to help.
Also of note, Rose makes a third attempt! Victoria rightly gives her the 1800's version of "STFU!"
Rose Tyler is Awful Count: 5,055,636,219
Meanwhile, after seeing some monks with the mistletoe, Lady Isobel has her staff gather up all of it in the kitchen to cook into a broth. Around the same time, the Doctor works out the weakness - believing the monks to have used it to either train or restrain the werewolf - by licking at the woodwork to see that it's treated with mistletoe.
I know he's an alien, but ewwww!
An account if found of a star falling from the heavens around 1540, the Doctor theorizing that that was how the wolf arrived, but could have only existed as just a single-cell until now. A plot point that would later be repurposed for the first season of Teen Wolf. Victoria reveals the final piece, a diamond known as the Koh-i-Noor. A jewel that the late Prince Albert had kept getting recut because he was never happy with it...and that's when everything starts to fall into place.
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| "Hey, do I have something in my teeth?" |
The Doctor works out that Sir Robert's father and Prince Albert must have known about the wolf and planned for this event. Everything being connected and to be wrapped up in a since RTD-brand bow. Unfortunately, the Wolf's ears were burning and it arrives through the skylight to see who was talking smack. They flee, heading up to the Observatory. Sir Robert kisses his wife goodbye and then, when the Doctor realizes the Observatory doors aren't treated with mistletoe, offers himself up as a barrier so they can get the telescope ready.
The Doctor tells Victoria what everyone else has already figured out. The telescope is a light chamber and the Koh-i-Nor is the final piece of the puzzle - intending to destroy the wolf with moonlight. When Rose points out this is bizarre, but the Doctor points out that humans can still drown in water despite a large portion of their bodies being water.
The Wolf breaks down the door and is about to attack Victoria when the Doctor activates the light chamber and snatches the Wolf up. Suspended in mid-air and reduced to its human form, the Wolf asks the Doctor to finish the job and he complies. In the aftermath, the Doctor notices that Victoria's wrist is bleeding, but she shoos him off and insists it's just from a splinter of the door.
The next morning, Victoria knights both the Doctor and Rose for their services in the defense of the Crown. She finally, at last, says that she is not amused. A hilarious punchline to a hilarious joke that definitely was not a complete waste of time and paints Rose as even more of a jackass than before.
Rose Tyler is Awful Count: 5,055,636,220
She insists that their world is not her world and banishes them forthwith from the lands of the United Kingdom, never to return. As the Doctor and Rose head back to the TARDIS, they speculate on how Victoria had hemophilia, but never inherited it. The Doctor theorizes that 'hemophilia' could just be an 1800's term for 'werewolf'. Rose even 'humorously' speculating that the entire Royal Family are werewolves!
Given that the current (as of this writing) Queen Elizabeth is an avid Doctor Who fan, I can't imagine what her reaction to that might have been.
But at the Torchwood Estate, Lady Isobel in mourning over her husband, is comforted by Queen Victoria. She tells her that her husband's sacrifice will not be in vain. She proposes an Institute, seeing that Britain has enemies greater and more terrible than anything they could have imagined. This institute will research and fight these threats and it shall be named after the very House where all these events happened: Torchwood. She ominously warns that if the Doctor should ever return, he should beware, because Torchwood will be waiting!
Which is why they've never interfered with him during any other time he's been on Earth...
Or when he was the scientific adviser for UNIT in the 1970's/1980's...
...huh...
And before anyone gets in touch to say that it would cause a temporal paradox, do you really think that Torchwood would care?
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| Okay, now...just a liiiiiiittle to the right... |
Tooth and Claw is not a bad episode. In fact, it's one of the more enjoyable ones we've seen thus far. The only real problem it has is Rose's running "joke" throughout the episode. I understand the want to inject some humor into this episode considering the overall tone being quite dark, but she comes off as a complete asshole. The worst part is that the Doctor is in on the fun as well.
This episode really goes far to showcase how absolutely terrible both Ten and Rose can be as a duo. The ability to take nothing seriously is a problem that will crop up a few times in Ten's era, to the point of irritation. Series 2 has a great deal of these moments as we will see going forward. As an individual piece, though, Tooth and Claw is a good episode.
Next time, we meet the myth, the legend: Sarah Jane Smith! And K-9! Also Giles from Buffy in a role that people thought was going to be the Master for some strange reason. Little did they know back in the innocent year of 2006 that the Master was going to come back in an even more ridiculous fashion just a year later!
Until next time!
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