From MadCap's Couch - "Sliders: Greatfellas"

"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order?"

Who doesn't love a good mafia story?

...eh, forget the intro, let's just get down to brass tacks.

We begin with Wade narrating that the Sliders are feeling more desperate than ever about finding their own Earth in spite of Quinn's continued insistence that Sliding isn't a journey from point A to point B.  As for the world they're on now, Quinn reads from the newspaper of exposition and reveals that even movie critics are afraid to be critical, citing a review of a Pauly Shore movie that is so neutral that it would seem a good color to redecorate my bathroom with.

Although, this is 1996, so the whole thing is likely a swipe at Biodome, a film staring Pauly Shore, which came out the same year as this episode. But that's a whole other can of worms.

Regardless, eighty-four percent of the American population has attended law school, which is further demonstrated when Arturo comes back in disgust after trying to order a hamburger.  Rembrandt, not to be dissuaded, heads up to the counter only to learn that he needs to have the right insurance and other paperwork. No insurance, no doctor's note, no ID, no burgers.  Luckily, they slide in a few minutes...but not before Rembrandt bumps into a woman and is approached by a lawyer offering to take the assault charge case he's just been slapped with...

...and is left to be traumatized as Rembrandt and the others slide to a new world.

Following the title sequence, and in a way that completely ignores the set rules about time being constant in all dimensions (but it's Sliders, so we can't fault them too much), we start up on a bright, sunny day facing a ritzy mansion where a shindig is occurring.  The men attired in wedding dress are walking up some steps to the mansion, the eldest - the head of a powerful crime family - is speaking to none other than...Mel Tormé?!

Bless my soul! Holy smokes! Gesundheit! It's the real live Mel Tormé!

Don't know who he is? Remember the Christmas Song? "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire" etc.? That's the guy. And no, don't feel bad if you don't know him for anything else, I didn't even know he was famous for that before I did some research for this episode.

Oh, and he's Tracy's father. Funny, since that usually works the other way, doesn't it?

"Hey, did you hear the one about us?"

It seems that the Greenfelds and the DeBellos, an Italian and a Jewish family (who are, because plot, big crime families), coming together in a wedding. And Mel is going to be singing for the Don's daughter. So, the wedding march is played and the beautiful bride herself heads up the aisle to meet her fate.  As a priest and a rabbi (no, really) try to discern which of them goes first, we hear a familiar sound coming from not far off.  The vortex has opened and out pops...well, who do you expect? Rembrandt takes a fall into the shrubbery, and the wedding (which apparently has everyone up to and including the flower girl packing) recognizes Remmy and calls him and the other Sliders the "Incorruptibles".

Remmy tries to charm his way through the proceedings, shaking the proud father's hand and congratulating the bride on her special day before making a hasty retreat...but not before fingering Mel before Wade pulls him out...

While the other Sliders think that something must be up, Remmy just chalks it up to his fame and charisma, saying they're just stunned by it.  Later that evening, the San Francisco is lit up like a Christmas tree, very Las Vegas complete with neon signs and all sorts of mess.  Arturo theorizes that Bugsy Siegel decided to build up his gambling empire in California instead of Nevada on this world, explaining the very Las Vegas strip-esque feel of things.  They also pass a sign showing that Ronald Reagan is running for re-election as governor of California, apparently having been President on this Earth as well.

Before they could ponder this, they decide to get Remmy of the streets for fear of people coming up asking him for autographs.  At the Dominion, they find Will Sasso waiting for them...recognizing Rembrandt and calling him and his traveling companions the "Incorruptibles".  They work out trying to get a low-key stay, Will giving them their key...and then picking up the phone the call someone the second they went upstairs.

Back at the Mansion, the Don consults with the heads of both families to learn how Rembrandt and the others got past security.  No explanation could be given, they had all the exits cover.  Mr. DeBello inquires about Mel, stating that it's strange that the one outsider of the group at the wedding was a friend of Rembrandt's, but the Don Greenfeld's son insists that they'll find the informant...Mel or not...and...take care of him.

"Wait, wait, don't tell me...you're Inspector Gadget!"

At the hotel, Wade marvels at the choices of entertainment on this world. "Goodfellas", "Casino", "Return of Goodfellas"...on the Disney channel. Arturo notes, in a more plot-related manner, that there's no booze in the mini-fridge. Quinn heads out to find a newstand, hoping to get some exposition.  While he's out, Will gets a hold of him and points him toward the stairwell, saying someone wants a word...and it turns out to be Mel, who is actually a friend of the Rembrandt of this world...or, at least, a working associate of.

Mel thinks they're trying to get him killed for the jig being up too early, and we go through the same wacky misunderstandings that the Sliders go through on many worlds where Quinn insists they're not who he thinks they are.  Mel drops some exposition about the Greenfelds and the DeBellos merging to create the world's biggest gambling paradise and the FBI wanting to take it out.  As it turns out, they did actually out Mel as an informant...to every criminal within about a hundred miles.

Umm...oops?

Mel tells Quinn to tell Remmy to wait for his signal or they'll all just be nothing more than obituaries.  Quinn heads back, stopping at the door to see a well-dressed man leaving the hotel room before he goes himself, learning from Remmy that the families apparently bankrolled the group one hundred thousand dollars, nobody getting that they just accepted a one hundred thousand dollar bribe on behalf of his counterpart on this Earth.

Mo' money, mo' problems indeed.

The group then knuckles down and tries to decide what to do.  Arturo brings up that the best that they can do is to lay low and wait for the slide, arguing that no matter how long the arm of the mob is that they can't follow them to the next world. However, if that happens, then we have no plot...I mean, it would be morally wrong to leave such a black mark on the career of the Rembrandt Brown of this Earth.  Even though Arturo argues they have no responsibilities or ties to this world, but is ignored by the other three Sliders.

Quinn in particular takes the money to the Doubloon, where Mel will be performing that night, to try and get him to get them in touch with the real Incorruptibles.  He hits the casino floor where doesn't find Mel...but he does find a man hustling a woman and Quinn, being the heroic fellow he is, steps in to save her.  Outside, the woman thanks him and gives him a kiss as such...then leaves in a taxi...leaving Quinn to realize moment's later that the woman just made off with the envelop containing the one hundred thousand dollars.

Back at the Hotel, the group is watching television - complete with a campaign ad for one Joe Biacchi, who is running for Governor against Reagan. Arturo finally reads far enough ahead in the script to reveal that, on this world, Prohibition was never repealed as it was on Earth Prime.  Al Capone and other crime bosses in America grew rich on bootleg whiskey and eventually chopped the country up into crime empires that exist into the present.  Thus, they realize that they stopped the merge of two families in the only way they could be merged - a wedding.

Mel performs some hits (I presume), before giving Quinn the riot act for being pickpocketed.  Apparently, Quinn has revealed the whole story and Mel says he'll make a call to Washington and will do the best he can if the story checks out.  Quinn walks him out to his car, Mel warning him to keep his head down because San Fran is about to go boom...and so is Mel, once he gets into his car.

They set Mel up the bomb!

Quinn gets his big "NOOOO!!!" as we've come to expect every so often, looking utterly horrified at what he has seen.  After the commercial break,  however, we see Rembrandt at a train station...only to quickly realize that he is not the Remmy we know and love.  Rather, he is Deputy Director Rembrandt Brown of the FBI.  Filled in by an Agent Reed, he learns that he apparently broke Mel's cover...even though he was in Toronto.  Rembrandt the Crusader is just nettled about the death of Mel and he's determined to see things done right.

Quinn makes a quick call to Wade, apparently having to wait until morning to do so.  The fact that no news has come out about Mel's death despite his fame, so they can't trust that to make any traction.  Despite Arturo's protests that they have no plan and should just leave it to the authorities, Wade suggests they go to the FBI.  Then, it seems the Blushing Bride wants to stop by and speak to Remmy, mistaking him for the Deputy Director.  She brings a disk containing every politician that's been paid off by the mob, and asks for protective custody in exchange.  Remmy reveals that...they're not exactly who she thinks they are.  Cue massive awkwardness.

Especially since the wedding has been rescheduled to tomorrow night...and the mob will kill her for what she's done.

Arturo and Wade decide to go to the FBI, leaving instructions to not open the door or answer the phone for Remmy and the Bride.  On the casino floor, Quinn goes looking for the woman who conned him -  having to bribe the bartender to do so.  Pointed to the casino floor, he finds the woman...but learns that she lost all the money via gambling.  One hundred thousand dollars in total...down now only to five grand. And because the writers remembered that Quinn is a freaking genius, Quinn takes to the table to perform a little Rain Man and earn the money back.

At a warehouse, Arturo and Wade find the FBI offices...heavily downsized it would seem, and end up speaking to Deputy Director Rembrandt.  The eeriness of running into another Rembrandt is quickly gotten rid of as Arturo lays out what he believes to be the plan - merge the two families to have total control over California and Nevada so that they might secede from the United States virtually unopposed, even handing over the disk to the Director.

He seems nonplussed by the news, claiming that Witness Protection ran out of funds years ago and there's nothing they can do.  Wade assumes he's on the take, the Director threatening her with deep imprisonment if she accuses him of corruption one more time.  He also warns the pair of them to be careful - they're messing in the Devil's Playground here.

...an apt, if incredibly heartbreaking name for Seasons 3 to 5, but we haven't quite gotten there yet, so let's move on.

Back on the casino floor, Quinn has had a much better run of luck, attracting quite a crowd as he prepares to make the house go bust.  He succeeds, having won back a great deal of money before being forced to cash out by the casino management...who have caught on to his card counting scheme.  The woman as well, looks rather despondent and asks Quinn how he can just walk away from all this...but he simply replies with the fact that he has to go, asking her to pick up his last chips as he goes to cash out.

The Don Greenfeld, meanwhile, meets with Mr. DeBello, who reveals that the disk was taken by his daughter.

Elsewhere, Wade and Arturo go with Plan B, meeting up with Joe Biacchi and giving him the Disk, explaining most of the situation to him.  He feeds them the line about how grateful he is that there are some honest people in California, and even arranges for some of his men to come and pick them up at the Dominion Hotel.

...yeah, I know, it's skipping ahead a bit, but I marvel at how the physics professor and the otherwise rather smart college student don't see this coming when the corrupt government official practically has "I am an evil douchebag" stamped across his forehead.  Back at the hotel, Quinn arrives with the won money...and finds some well-dressed gentlemen with guns waiting for him.  Later, Wade and Arturo are in the back of an armored car being taken to the not-trap and talk a bit.  Arturo assures Wade that, under the circumstances, they have done the best they could.  When they Slide next, provided they survive for it, they can slide with a clear conscience.

The touching moment is immediately juxtaposed by the two being pulled out of the truck at gun point.  Dumbasses.

They are brought into a room and tied to chairs, where Quinn and Remmy have likewise been tied up because we're in the last seven minutes of the episode and any remaining plot threads have to be tied up as much as our protagonists are.  The Don Greenfeld comes in, asking for the location of his daughter...and Arturo comes up with the politest way of saying "Up yours!"  Not far off, the Director, Reed, and the Bride are all listening in...and the Director mentions he has to get in as they only have a few min-wait, Remmy?!

Yes, it seems the Director and Rembrandt have swapped places for this little exercise. And so...

Times The Sliders Have Run Into Their Doubles: 9

Back in the warehouse, the Director taunts the Don about the disk that's now in the possession of Joe Biaachi...only for the District Attorney himself to walk in and reveal that he's been on the mob payroll for years.  With his vocal admission, however, the FBI moves in.  The Don has payback on his mind...but the fuzz gets onscene, Wade and then Arturo trying to stall for just long enough...and a shootout takes place.  The Don gets arrested, Biaachi puts a face to the whole thing, and the Incorruptibles are cleared of any accusations of...well, corruption.

And on the third day, He rises again! Forgive me, Lord! I did not believe!!!!

Quinn asks the Bride to go find that woman we don't care about and give her five grand to perhaps start a new life somewhere else.  As Arturo opens the vortex, Rembrandt and the Deputy Director have a chat - where the Director affirms his belief that all it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing.  They wish one another good luck before Remmy heads into the vortex.  As Quinn prepares to follow, a shadowy figure asks him the time...and it's revealed to be Mel, apparently far, far less explode-y than when he last appeared!  He tells Quinn to keep his nose clean and, with a little renewed optimism in his heart, Quinn heads to the vortex, turning back once to see...

...that Mel is gone.

...um...how awkward.

He leaps in and we fade to black, but not to the end title sequence.  Instead, we return to the bar where the Woman who hustled Quinn earlier is speaking with the bartender and the man who was hassling her earlier in the episode. Apparently, all three are in cahoots and enjoying their prize of not only the original one hundred grand...but also the five thousand she was sent by Quinn.  While the men laugh and plot what to do, the camera focuses on her lost in thought...

...shame we don't have any reason to care, seeing as we won't be seeing her again after this episode.

I'll be honest.  I have given this episode a fair amount of grief, but it's actually one of my favorites thus far and a high contender for one of my favorites overall.  One of the strengths Sliders has is in telling good stories, because of and in spite of the setting.  Y'know, when it's actually set on telling good stories and not on just creating a big mess that makes me cry ugly, ugly tears.  "Greatfellas" is a love letter to gangster movies like The Godfather and mafia films in general, the opening with the wedding being a particular tribute.  It's beautifully done and without any evidenced irony or sarcasm about the setting involved.  Everything is played straight, which works very well.

Another reason I will praise this episode is because it features a scene where Arturo and Wade are alone together, something which rarely happens, and it doesn't result in the two bickering themselves into a pissing match over their ideologies.  It's really rather nice to see them agreeing and getting along, especially after so much of the writer's strong-arming their "messages of the day" that the two will quarrel about.  It really shows how far they've both come since the beginning and how, in a pinch, the Sliders will be there to look out for each other.

Also of note is Rembrandt, or rather the Deputy Director.  Whereas Remmy is theatrical - lively and egotistical to outrageous lengths - his counterpart on this world is more down to Earth.  He is a champion of all that is good and right, but it's easy to tell that he's far more subdued, bitter and jaded from his years fighting criminals all over America. He has a reputation for doing just that, and being a lawman who is truly incorruptible.   He even seems to take this personally, feeling that it's his duty to help, even saying that if good men do nothing, evil wins.

Sadly, we get no scenes of him dealing out some Ezekiel 25:17 on the mob, but that would have just made an already good episode even more awesome.

But his character goes to speak to what Rembrandt will become in later seasons. Remmy has proven a few times, even now, that he's a good man beyond just taking care of the Sliders. Wanting to get involved, wanting to help, and so on, even risking his own neck many a time for the right cause.  Seeing what he becomes in later seasons...and seeing what his counterpart in this episode is almost heartbreaking.

Then, of course, there are the negatives of this episode.  First off...Mel.  Look, Tracy, I understand you wanted to give your father the bump and I am totally for that, don't get me wrong.  Besides needing to pad out some of the time and give the Sliders a vague in for the plot...I just don't see why he was there for plot reasons, since Rembrandt's counterpart on this world provided more than enough of an in.  If Mel had "lived" to explain things to the Director, maybe it would have made sense, but he never even gets to make that call to Washington so he can do so.  So, besides for the sake of nepotism...I got nothing.

Also, the woman in the casino.  An even more egregious example of chewing up the episode's time.  In fact, in rewatching the episode, I don't believe they even bothered to give her a name, which is odd for a character given at least four scenes, including the closing one of the episode.  And while she does have a bit of what I praised Quinn for in Gillian of the Spirits, that is Quinn inspiring people to do better simply by being encouraging and kind...that's a trait of him, not of her.  I don't know anything besides the woman besides the fact that she's a con artist.  And while I don't need to know any more than that for the sake of the episode, I really just wish they had bothered to try and fill in those gaps.

Those minor issues aside, as I said before, this is one of my favorite episodes of the series.  I just like the feel, I like how the main characters are (mostly) not saddled with the Idiot Ball to keep the plot from progressing too quickly, and that it has a resolution  that actually doesn't feel too rushed...which is more than you can ask for most days with Sliders.

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