MadCap's Game Reviews - "Resident Evil"

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, how did this game series ever get off the ground?



That's not a set up to a joke, this game is legitimately just plain awful! And I don't mean that from the perspective of the time since it was released, I mean how was this good for 1996? The voice acting is the stuff of legend, despite every attempt to scary, it only manages to be startling (which is not the same thing), and the only real nemesis who will be doing their best to come at you and drag you into the bowels of Hell is the fixed camera placement.

And yes, the series did get better later. I know many people who still hold up Resident Evil 4 as a triumph and an excellent game.  But this? No. Just no.

The plot is simple - a police spec ops team has gone missing and the Beta Team gets sent to...

...what?

...oh, it's the Alpha Team getting sent in after the Beta Team. Way to play with my expectations, Capcom!

You get a choice between either Jill Valentine or Chris Redfield, two characters who have continued on into the series' various sequels and spin-offs. In this particular story, they are of the Alpha Team of the S.T.A.R.S. department of the Raccoon City Police. After a meeting with some wild dogs, they hole up in a mansion with their totally not evil boss Albert Wesker.

Oh, c'mon, this isn't a spoiler. The game is over twenty years old by now.

But as either Chris or Jill, you'll traverse the Mansion to eventually discover that it's nothing more than a front for the Umbrella Corporation's testing of the dreaded T-Virus, a biological nerve agent that brings forth zombies. This makes the original Japanese title "Biohazard" (which, ironically, would be used as the subtitle for RE's seventh game) make much, much more sense than "Resident Evil". Sadly, due to the inability to copyright, they had to come up with another title during the localization of the game.

Bang up job, guys! Well done. 10/10.

But this game's name is actually the least of its problems. As I stated above, you get a choice between either Jill or Chris. Jill has more inventory and better weapons, while Chris is heartier but has less inventory space and access to weapons. Who do you choose? I have no idea, mainly because your biggest concern isn't going to be inventory space or weapons (actually, they are, but I'll get to that in a minute), it's going to be the most dreaded, evil, insidious nemesis you can imagine. It is a foe so potent, so terrible and frightening that it turns the manliest of men into mice, shrivels testicles like raisins in the sun whenever it strikes, and makes you feel as bad as though you'd just jaywalked...and been given a croquet mallet to your groin for your trouble.

THE CAMERA!

Yeah. Fixed camera angles. Don't you just love spending hours trying to adjust to re-orienting your grip on the controls every single time you enter into a new room? No? Well, sucks for you, buddy! Trying to avoid a zombie while using a ridiculous key like the Eagle Crest to open a door? Too bad, you just turned a corner and, not thinking, ran right back into it.

And now you're dead.

You idiot.

I've seen defense of this mechanic, saying that it adds to the survival horror aspect. I disagree, mainly because the first word of that genre is "survival" and doing that while accidentally running back into a zombie that's trying to eat my face is the exact opposite of that. I'm not asking for some kind of "skip zombie" button or something, but my spatial orientation being thrown off every single time I enter a new room is just plain unacceptable. Call it a personal preference, but I hate it with a violent passion and all it does is heavily diminish the experience for me.

The game is a collect-o-thon, which isn't a bad thing as some make it out to be. You have to find certain items to progress through certain areas and that's fine. A bit weird that whoever created this mansion went out of their way to not only have a bunch of very unique locking systems and bizarre puzzles to lock rooms up instead of...y'know...locks and keys, but to each their own. Who knows? Maybe it makes more sense in the original Japanese.

Health pick ups come from herbs or a first-aid spray ported over from the Kanto region, which still do not get anywhere close to the awesomeness of booze being used in Shadows of the Damned.  Still, getting high instead of getting drunk as a healing tactic does have it's potential. Legalize it! With that, however, I have to address an issue that I've been dancing around: the inventory system. I'm conflicted on it, mainly because I understand why it is the way it is...but I still hate it.

Jill has more inventory space, and I suppose it's best to pick her ultimately because of all the things you have to carry. Sure, you'll likely die more as you try to get adjusted to the camera trying to murder you every time you walk through a door, but to hell with it, you may as well go out on your own terms.

And that's really all I can say about it. The voice acting is the stuff of legend, but then several localized products hold that distinction as I said before. But no, the first Resident Evil, at least, is not scary. Startling? Sure. Has a good story? I wouldn't go that far. It's playable, though even my usual rule of "play through anything once for the story" was very nearly shattered like a twig thanks to the god awful interface.

Resident Evil is brought to us by Capcom. Originally on Playstation, it is now on...many, many platforms.

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