MadCap's Game Review - "Rocketgirl"

...what the fu-?!

...what in the hell did I just play?

No, I'm asking, because I'm utterly and completely confused by this. Okay, I'm not confused as to what it is - blatant fanservice that is supposed to tingle the willies of everybody with a controller at the prospect of a full, jiggly boob up against a phallic object masquerading as a game. It's rather the same problem I have with the Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball games, I don't care how ridiculously and wondrously plump and bouncy the breasts are, they aren't going to distract me from the fact that your game sucks.

Basically, you are Ms. Fanservice riding around on a rocket from the left side of the screen to the right. From my assumption, the object of the game is to gather points, which would be much easier if the game wasn't so much of a fustercluck. Play more than twenty seconds into the game, and the screen quickly becomes so clustered with just...everything...that it becomes impossible to work out what's going on. Challenge is one thing, but even within the first few seconds of playing I encountered several problems.

Namely, it's difficult to tell what's harmful and what isn't, which is a major no-no in games of this nature. Given the fast pace, I need to know from the jump what is dangerous and what I can interact with. If I don't, I'll be dying and restarting the level a lot. And restart the level a lot I did, though I often found myself amazed or confused when I did die, as the hit detection seems to be all over the place. I can't tell when I've been hit or if I'm being hit, until Ms. Fanservice falls off her rocket and the game tells me that it's Game Over.

And that's pretty much all I can glean from this. I feel like I'm somehow playing a Baz Luhrmann movie...but with gigantic Earth-shaking boobage. I've seen comparisons to Lollipop Chainsaw, but I really don't think that's all that fair. Juliet Starling, for all of her fanservice, was a strong, determined female character who the player never saw in any situation where we thought she might need to be saved. In fact, she was generally level-headed (as level headed as you can be being a zombie hunter regardless of gender) and in control of virtually every situation, using her chainsaw to kick all of the asses.

But Rocketgirl? She's fanservice put onto fanservice flying around in an indiscernible mess that is apparently very hard, but fails to make anything very hard.

Ha!

Rocketgirl is now available from SoftwareByEugene on the Xbox Live Arcade.

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