MadCap Fixes Movies - "The Last Jedi"

Oooooh, boy, has this been a long time coming. Hasn't it?

The time was December 15, 2017. I had settled into my seat to be dazzled and amazed by the next chapter in the Star Wars saga. The movie started rolling...and then we saw Luke Skywalker haphazardly chuck his father's lightsaber over his shoulder and go on to drink milk he'd milked out of alien boobs.

We saw Poe Dameron making "Yo mama" jokes.

We saw Finn's character arc destroyed and reverted as he turned into a comic relief joke.

We saw Admiral Holdo, who is potentially the worst military leader since General Custer.

We saw Snoke made irrelevant within the space of a few seconds.

We saw any defense Rey had against being a Mary Sue be destroyed as any attempt at answering questions was ruined.

We saw Rose Tico and bullshit moralizing that ended up with a bunch of children still in enslavement.

We saw a "kill the past" message being rammed down our throats by literally the worst character to be chosen to be the one to give said message considering his Discord account is xxDarthxxVaderxxLoverxx1337.

We saw whole fragments of canon being ignored or perverted just to tell the story that Rian Johnson wanted to tell.

And none of it being acceptable in the EIGHTH FILM OF YOUR FRANCHISE!

And then, of course, there was everything that came after.

MadCap At The Movies - "Star Wars: The Last Jedi"

Is it possible to measure soul-crushing disappointment? Why, yes indeed, there is! Two hours and thirty minutes according to the latest entry into the Star Wars franchise! I was someone who defended The Force Awakens. I enjoyed it. I still do. Unfortunately, now, every single viewing I have of it from now until the end of my linear existence is going to see to it that it is tainted by the knowledge that this is what follows it.

This.

I'm going to go ahead and warn you now, this is where the spoiler warning begins. I am going to praise the few things that I can about this movie before vivisecting it, pointing out and pulling hard on every single loose thread in this tapestry until I have dismantled it...and then I will take the time to fix the very, very many mistakes to salvage this clunker.

That being said, I will say that you should see it. It is, after all, another part of the story and despite all the raging and complaining I have to do here, Disney pretty much has me by the balls because I have to see how this ends.

Last warning for spoilers. If you haven't seen the film yet and still wish to without spoilers, turn back now.