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| MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!! |
Our episode begins with a panning shot of the Earth, like in Rose. Instead of continuing the adventures of the sociopathic shop girl from London and her obsession with destroying anyone who shows even the slightest indication that they might want to be romantically involved with the Doctor (yes, I'm still on about that), we instead come into the company of the greatest companion of the Russell T. Davies era, though no one knew it at the time.
...it's really a shame that, like this episode, her appearance here isn't very good.
But Donna Noble is being led up the aisle to be married when tragedy strikes in the form of glowy CGI! No, she's not regenerating (kind of hilarious given what happens in Series 4), but she is teleported away and ends up in the TARDIS. Thus, we're back to where we were when we last left the Doctor.
They also are clearly using a different take from their first exchange back in Doomsday, since the lighting is different and Catherine Tate looks visibly less annoyed. After the opening credits, the Doctor goes through the David Tennant exercise of proclaiming something's "Impossible!" around 600 times, while Donna is having none of his nonsense and threatens to sue the Doctor, running to the TARDIS doors to get them open...and finding the vacuum of space from the end of the previous episode instead of the world she knows.
In her stunned state, introductions are made and the Doctor makes a crack about looking human being optional for him. Once the wonder wears off, however, the Doctor goes back to ranting and Donna demands to be taken back to the church.
And then...comes the Rose reference, when Donna finds her jumper still left on the railing around the TARDIS console.
This...I'm actually okay with. Keep in mind, while the Doctor has lost companions before and in ways far, far worse than how Rose departed, that wound is still fresh in him at this point. Russell actually managed to keep the four dialogue references to Rose in this episode very brief and almost respectful in a weird sort of way, not having the Doctor whine and complain about how she isn't there every five minutes and instead just having him be kind of somber.
...yeah, I know Series 3 is coming up. We'll get there when we get there.
The TARDIS lands and, as per tradition, does so in the wrong place. After leaving it, Donna realizes its nature as something bigger on the inside and walks off in a freak out moment...that is undercut when Donna angrily berates the Doctor for thinking she has pockets in her wedding gown.
...mind you, that is a legitimate complaint when it comes to women's clothing, but way to completely undercut your big scene there, Russell.
We get a montage of them trying to catch a cab and then getting one, having to get out because they have no money. The Doctor goes to get some money from a cashpoint...witnessing a familiar-looking trio of Santas playing instruments, one of whom that Donna gets into the taxi of much to the Doctor's panic.
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| "Oh, god! I'm stuck in a bleeding Russell T. Davies script!" |
The chase is afoot as the Doctor takes the TARDIS to go after her, Donna realizing the depth of her situation and - in what is a rather uncomfotable scene - beats against the windows of the cab to be let out. The Doctor pulls the TARDIS alongside it and encourages her to jump aboard. While she is very reluctant at first, she eventually does so after the Doctor assures her that she can trust him by telling her that Rose is "so alive".
Again, well done enough given the context. This will get worse later.
Donna jumps onboard and she and the Doctor escape the robot Santa cabbie. On a rooftop, we get a bit of character building and exposition. The Doctor gives Donna a ring to keep her from being tracked. Here we learn that Donna missed the events of The Christmas Invasion due to a hangover. We also learn that Donna is a secretary at a security company, where she met her fiance Lance when he made her a coffee.
The two come to the reception where, despite Donna's instance that everyone will be miserable, they're having a marvelous time. Needless to say, she's more than a little peeved by this. Also, in spite of a few quick scenes of the wedding party freaking out, it's not as if they looked to hard to try and find her...which kind of paints everyone there like an asshole.
Donna gets out of trouble with faking hysterical crying and everyone claps...as she winks to the Doctor behind everyone's back. As the reception continues, the Doctor borrows someone's phone and uses the sonic to deduce the true owner of the security firm Donna and Lance work at - Torchwood. Weird that Torchwood can be just looked up like that, but interest your own jokes about leaks in British military intelligence here.
The Doctor watches the video of Donna's disappearance...from an angle that the camera man couldn't possibly have gotten from the angle we see it from, but nevermind...and the Doctor determines that Donna has been infected with Huon particles. It's something very old and, the Doctor notes, cannot be hidden by a bio-damper as he gave Donna. Cue the Santas attacking! They even bring the killer Christmas Tree and you can hear Jackie Tyler screaming in fear and rage from the other universe.
In the chaos, the Doctor uses the sound system to destroy the robots and save the day. He determines that the robots are being controlled by another source and, with Donna in tow insisting that he actually come back and help people who have been injured, goes off for "the bigger picture".
Two things here. Number one, I'm still not really clear on the status of the Robot Santas, much like I wasn't in my The Christmas Invasion review. Here it shows they are definitely under the control of the Racnoss Empress (who we'll see in a bit) which helps somewhat...but my question is, given what we find out about her...the outfits still remain kind of confusing. The episode says they're a form of blending in...but it really doesn't work.
That or the people of the Doctor Who universe are just really stupid in-universe.
...actually, let's go with that.
Number two, this is one of the moments where the Tenth Doctor comes off as kind of a jackass. I do actually like Tennant's portrayal and wish we'd had more time with his Doctor, but his Doctor isn't one of the more eccentric and detached from humanity Doctors like One, Four, Six, Seventh, and Nine were, and how Twelve will later be when we get to the Capaldi era.
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| "To the owner of a silver DeLorean...your lights are on." |
When the Doctor ignored the death of an innocent man in The Pyramids of Mars, it was because the Doctor knew there was a greater threat out there in the form of Sutekh that would cause even more chaos and destruction. There were heavy stakes.
Here...the Doctor tries to do the same thing, but it doesn't work. Ten is arguably among the most "human" of the Doctors, and while you could put this up to him still working through Rose pains, I don't buy it. Besides, the Doctor once showed that he was able to repair someone's broken leg just by tugging lightly on their ear. Imagine what he could do if he were actually trying!
He also doesn't know of the immediate threat yet. With Sutekh, he did. With this, he knows that something is controlling the robots and is after Donna. Keeping Donna there will him will help better assure her safety and he can help out some people. The Doctor traces the signal into space...and a star that looks to be made entirely out of spider webs descends toward Earth...with a very spider-like being at the controls, watching the pair on the Earth below.
The Doctor, Lance, and Donna head off to HC Clements, the security company, to find out how this all started. We also get the joke that Donna missed the events of Doomsday because of a scuba diving trip to Spain...not really sure how that one works, but nevermind.
The Doctor tells Donna she's been infected with Huon particles, which is what brought her into the TARDIS. The question is why, which they start toward answering when they get into the basement. Once they get there we get a surreal scene where the three ride segways down a corridor for...reasons? They laugh as though its supposed to be funny, but I just don't get it. Maybe I'm simply missing context? Am I not British enough to get the joke? No idea. If anyone in the comments has an idea, please tell me.
Anyway, the Doctor figures out they're on the Thames in a flood barrier...and Russell inserts a joke about a secret base being built under a major landmark in London. Witty, thought it does astound me that that does happen so often in Doctor Who...and fiction in general, now that I think about it.
The trio find a lab where someone is artificially creating Huon particles. The Doctor starts putting two and two together about what happened - namely the particles activated from Donna's high emotions at her wedding - and has to reassure Donna that he'll figure out how to fix the problem with Huon particles.
...and then comes...the Racnoss.
The Racnoss, who has either drilled a hole to the center of the Earth or is taking over an operation where Torchwood was drilling to the center of the Earth for some reason. They could have saved time and just watched Inferno from the Pertwee era to find out why that is a very bad idea.
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| "Hello! Do you have a moment to talk about our lady and savior, Shelob?" |
That plot hole aside (mind you, saying Doctor Who has plot holes is a bit like saying the sky is blue), the Racnoss is just...meh. The spider design is creepy enough, but the voice that the actress - Sarah Parrish - is either putting on or is having to do due to the prosthetic teeth is just...bad. I'm fairly certain it isn't her fault and she is trying, but it's just...not remotely as intimidating or scary as they're going for beyond the appearance.
It is nice to see a non-humanoid alien in Doctor Who every so often, even if she is human from the waist up.
We get the reveal that Lance is a traitor, having been working with the Racnoss Empress the whole time. We also get the reveal that he's a dick, tearing Donna down with things he's apparently suppressed over the past six months. The Racnoss puts a firing squad to them, and the Doctor gets himself and Donna out of trouble at the last possible second, using the Huon particles to summon the TARDIS to them.
Donna is distressed, the Doctor takes the TARDIS back in time, and Lance finds himself in a very difficult position as the Empress's new key...insert phallic symbol joke here.
We do get a good bit of character as Donna tries to regain her composure and the Doctor shows her the formation of the Earth. The Doctor gets a few words in about how humans are amazing and they watch the Earth form around a Racnoss ship, revealing the Empress's plan.
They head back to the present due to plot convenience and manage to not land right in the middle of danger. However, Donna gets taken and webbed up with Lance. The Huon particles are pulled from them, and Lance gets to be the first meal of the Racnoss coming up from the Earth's core. The Racnoss ship descends on London and begins using electrical blasts to lay waste and prepare the human race to be a meal.
The Doctor shows up in disguise and gets outed, freeing Donna from the web, and then presents the Racnoss with an ultimatum - he'll find a planet for her and her children to live on away from Earth. She refuses, the Doctor warning her that what happens next is her fault. She attempts to respond with a firing squad, and the Doctor reveals that he has pockets that are bigger on the inside when he deactivates them all.
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| The Lonely God passes judgment. |
And here, three seasons into the show, the Doctor reveals the name of his homeworld - Gallifrey. Much to the rage of the Empress, as the Time Lords were the race to kill the Racnoss. The Doctor then puts to use the explosive ornaments from one of the killer Christmas trees and proceeds to flood the base, leaving only when Donna tells him that he should stop.
It's actually a rare moment of actual horror as the Doctor stares indifferently at the Racnoss Empress screams as her children drown in water from the Thames. Even Donna is very clearly terrified of him, and David Tennant absolutely sells it.
We also get the first audio mention of a "Mr. Saxon" (a single reference had appeared in Love & Monsters back in Series 2 on a newspaper) ordering a tank strike on the Racnoss ship, taking it out as well.
Pity that he didn't just send the Brigadier after it, he wouldn't have needed the tanks.
But all's well that ends well saved for a drained Thames. The Doctor brings Donna back home and scans her, finding no trace of the Huon particles. The Doctor uses the TARDIS to make it snow, giving Donna a laugh. He asks Donna of her future plans, offering her a place on the TARDIS, but she turns him down. The life the Doctor leads is too terrible, too dangerous. She couldn't do it, she insists...and she's terrified of him.
So naturally, she invites him to Christmas Dinner. The Doctor attempts to fake her out, but Donna literally shouts loud enough to be heard in a dematerializing TARDIS and he returns. She asks him to promise her that he'll find someone - because even she knows that the Doctor should never be alone. Donna asks him what the name of his friend was, and the Doctor has a very quiet, mournful moment...telling her that his friend's name was Rose.
While rewatching it in retrospect has softened my opinion on it considerably, The Runaway Bride is a clunker. It has a few good moments - namely the chase after Donna's prison cab and the absolutely terrifying moment of Seventh Doctor-esque coldness as the Doctor drowns the Racnoss - but it has more than a few bad moments, too.
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| "You know that isn't a weapon, right?" "I just wanna save you from more Russell scripts." |
Donna is painted as an incredibly vain, shallow, and vapid individual. She's loud, surly, arrogant, and gives absolutely not a single fuck and I love her for it...when it's balanced with character development. You sort of get that here, but it's muddled due to both the time frame and Russell not juggling comedy and drama very well. There are shades of the person that she'll become, though. In very small doses, and she does change for the better by the end of the episode.
Donna's family...is just awful. They and her friends don't feature much in the story, and when they do it is always to their determent. They barely put any effort into trying to find her, and then run off to go have a party that was meant to be for her without her. While there's a bit of handwaving you can do with people saying she's pulled pranks like this before (which is never mentioned again after this, by the way), the fact that they're partying when she could be dead for all they know is really immensely dickish. To give credit, they do get better later - particularly with Wilfred "He Will Knock Four Times" Mott gets involved - but that's a far cry from this.
Then you have Lance, a man who seems a bit like a Bizarro Universe companion. So basically Rose, but black and male. He willingly poisons Donna with Huon particles over nine months and shows no remorse or regret over his actions even when his own life is on the line. After he gets eaten, Donna angrily asserts that he deserved it...but then retracts that, which really doesn't come off well considering the verbal thrashing he gave her earlier.
In my opinion, for the poisoning alone, he really did deserve it.
The Racnoss, as I've said before, look kind of generic in design and the voice just kills it for me. I never once really felt any menace or terror from the Empress even with her hordes of children coming up from the core of the Earth.
The Runaway Bride isn't the worst Christmas special, we'll be getting into that once we get to the 2009 specials, but this was just not that great. Christmas could have been taken out of the story and nothing really would been lost. There are some bits that don't really make any sense to me (like the segway bit) and it is really not the best look at Donna or even the Tenth Doctor.
Next time, however, we'll be getting into Series 3. We'll finally meet Martha Jones, get another trip to NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW Earth, see William Shakespeare fighting witches, get a two-parter with Daleks that will go so wrong so fast that it hurts, and much, much more! Stick around!
And Merry Christmas to all who celebrate!
Doctor Who is the property of the British Broadcasting Corporation.
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