Our story begins in Amazing Spider-Man #544, back before Marvel took the very brilliant idea of rebooting their series every 25 issues or so to heart. And a good thing, too! Who wants to have an easy way to track the story by issues when we could just jump between different volumes and try to figure out the difference between this #1 and that #1. It's absolutely brilliant! But I'm not here to talk about Marvel's fantastic business practices, which in recent years have brought fans together and created so many beloved characters such as Riri Williams and Squirrel Girl's modern incarnation. No, we're here to talk about Joe Quesada's magnum opus!
To do a little backstory, the second-greatest company-wide crossover event in the history of Marvel Comics, Civil War had just happened (Secret Empire, of course, eclipsed it upon release...but that's a story for another day). Peter Parker had revealed his identity to the public in order to support the Superhuman Registration Act, something that was completely well thought out by Marvel and not a contrived mess of crap that different comics interpreted in different ways because there was no definite plan for how it worked. The Kingpin, being a vengeful sort, sent an assassin after Peter...and ended up shooting Aunt May.
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| "Look, Aunt May! No hands!" |
You might think this is yet another time we should just roll our eyes at the constantly dying, but never quite managing it Aunt May, but you're entirely wrong! You see, this time, it's more important and more dramatic than any other time because the plot says so!
...anyway, so Peter and MJ have taken Aunt May to the hospital, where she is in critical condition. With no money to pay for her room, Peter decides to take to the streets and become a murder hobo, visiting Tony Stark. As is completely in-character for Peter to do, he webs up Tony Stark in a way that risks killing them both and whines incessantly about how all of this is Tony's fault. Because, after all, we all remember Uncle Ben's time honored lesson: "With great power, comes great responsibility...to blame someone else for you being a dumbass".
But Tony refuses to help, and thus sends Jarvis to pay for May to have care on the sly. Tony says he can't be directly connected because he doesn't want people knowing that he helped a member of the Anti-Registration movement...'s on death's doorstep aunt. Now, you might think because Spidey has saved the Earth hundreds, if not thousands of times both on his own and in group efforts, that nobody would think that Tony saving an old woman who nearly died because of her connections to him would come off as anti-heroic.
Almost as if Civil War completely destroyed Tony's character and he never actually recovered. This is, however, most certainly, not the case. Clearly this is the right move and Tony Stark has never been better represented in Marvel.
With that settled, Peter decides to go after some other big faces in the Marvel universe. With the help of Doctor Strange, who can't help Aunt May somehow, Peter is able to contact a bunch of members of the scientific community. Doctor Doom, Reed Richards, the High Evolutionary, Doctor Octopus, and even the Black Panther and Storm in Wakanda.
Nobody can help.
Now, you might think that this is overwhelmingly stupid, but it's definitely not!
I mean, Doctor Strange can travel to alternate dimensions, destroy people's souls, and bring himself back from the dead. We all know that those things are much easier than healing bullet wounds!
Reed Richards and Doctor Doom have both created time machines that can go to not only the past and the future, but to alternate timelines and aborted timelines as well, so say nothing of multiverse travel. And, again, as we all know, those things are much easier than healing a bullet wound!
The High Evolutionary is a geneticist without peer on Marvel's version of Earth, able to rewrite DNA as easily as someone can flip a light switch. But we know that light switches are much easier to flip than bullet wounds are to heal!
Doctor Octopus, who once loved Aunt May. He's a doctor with a PhD in nuclear science. I don't know much about nuclear science, but I'm sure it's much less complex than healing a bullet wound!
As for Black Panther, Wakanda has the most advanced medical facilities in the world, but they can't fix bullet wounds!
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| Mayday! Mayday! Danger, Peter Parker! Danger! |
It seems that Peter is at his most desperate, with very logical reasons for why so many people in the Marvel universe cannot save his Aunt, when he finds a little redheaded girl who promises she can save Aunt May. Pursuing her, he runs into a woman in red who becomes Mephisto!
Holy crap, folks! My jaw dropped the first time I read this! Actual Satan in my Spider-Man? I couldn't believe it! It was so brilliant! I weep at the sheer genius of Joe Quesada and JMS! I mean, it's not like this was some super contrived bullshit that even the Clone Saga laughed at when it was proposed as a solution to that can of worms!
But Mephisto offers to heal Aunt May...but at the cost of Peter's marriage to Mary Jane. Of course, this makes perfect sense. I mean, demons dealing in souls is just such old hat. Marriages make perfect sense to want to take. After an entire issue where they almost do nothing, Peter and MJ agree...or, rather, MJ convinces Peter to agree and adds some caveats of her own (to be discussed in my One Moment In Time review - an equally excellent epic from Joe Quesada). Mephisto alters history so that everything happened exactly as it happened...just without the wedding rings.
Once more, Peter is living with his Aunt May in her home in Queens. It's great, really, going back to basics and having no acknowledgement of how Peter has grown up since the old days. Aunt May gets to now live in her roach-infested home where she is constantly having medical and financial problems. Peter goes to a party held by - of all people - Harry Osborn who is very much not dead! And a good thing, too! Harry Osborn's death in Spectacular Spider-Man #200 was definitely contrived and terrible, not a gripping and emotional moment that was a poignant and fitting end to the character, he and Peter finally there for each other in one of their last moments.
Not like One More Day. I can't get over it, really. Joe Quesada, you've done it so, so right!
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| Definitely the best choice to replace Mary Jane. 10/10 - MadCapMunchkin |
At the party, Harry Osborn introduces Carlie Cooper, a character that will soon become Peter's primary love interest! And a good thing, too! I know some people have accused her of being Diet Gwen Stacy at her absolute best, but it's rather like people who don't like The Last Jedi. They just don't get it! It makes sense for something that you loved and cherished, just like Peter and Mary Jane's relationship, to be callously cast aside for something that you're forced to like because the people in charge of it say so!
And everyone at the party toasts a Brand New Day, leading into the next arc.
One More Day is a masterpiece, unmatched by anything else in Spider-Man history. I dare to say it's the greatest comic book to ever exist! Nothing can match it, and as of 2018, nothing has! Secret Empire came so, so close, but it simply did not subvert expectations enough! Really, how can anyone not love this...this...beautiful, beautiful thing?
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| Oops! Wait! Wrong masterpiece, sorry! |
Happy April 1st, everyone! Come back tomorrow, where I give you my review of my favorite movie of all time - Rian Johnson's Star Wars Episode VIII: Dawn of Justice Into Darkness starring Billie Piper as Rose Tyler. Trust me, you're gonna love it! I know I do!
For the latest from the MadCapMunchkin, be sure to follow him on Twitter @MadCapMunchkin.
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...yes, I would have normally given you particulars on the comic in order to recommend it, but even I'm not that evil in this case.
Happy April Fools Day!
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