Friday, October 7, 2016

MadCap's Game Reviews - "Alice: The Madness Returns"

...this game sucks.

And yes, I know fans of American McGee are going to probably try and hang me for that. I know two of them who will most definitely be reading this who live within driving distance and have access to both actual and improvised weaponry of all sorts, but I stand by my decision.

This is actually a done up version of my review of this that I did way back when the game was first released in 2011 and never published because...well, we all know how Skyrim pretty much took over my life around that time. Nevertheless, I decided to go back and try it out again and - with the benefit of time and experience, I have a much better perspective on it.

...it still sucks.

So, eleven years after the first game (which, no, I haven't played), Alice has been released from the madhouse and is now living at the most Cockney orphanage ever (I'm assuming, in England, that all orphanages are just filled to the brim with lovable Cockney children) where she has occasional forays into Wonderland because...otherwise we'd have a really boring game about running around in a version of London that's just into the Industrial Revolution era (see also, the beginning of Fable III).  Except Wonderland is a little more screwed up than it was before...that is to say, it's empty. Very few people are around, the familiar landmarks have been corrupted or tainted, and Christine's train-based cousin is running around causing problems...sort of.

It's kind of the same problem with Tim Burton's version of Alice in Wonderland - everyone here is crazy, so things being even more crazy really shouldn't be too much of an issue for everyone. Granted, at least here, if no one is here to be crazy, then that is bad...by their logic, anyway.

What did take a page from the Tim Burton school is the weapons. Everything from a kitchen knife to a pepper grinder to an umbrella, all mundane made functional that Tim Burton does...and Steven Moffat does far, far better. It's also a platformer, so better be sure you've got your aim right. Luckily, the controls for it aren't too bad. Alice can jump for days and you'll need that in order to maneuver around to solve puzzles and go digging around for secrets in levels that you've left behind.

So, on the hole, The Madness Returns is not that great. Even Mr. McGee has said it's unpolished, which I agree with.  Though while he has problems with the filler, I'd say there's really not enough to do in it. You wander around the open, empty landscapes of Wonderland and occasionally run into NPCs to interact with to further the sort of story, broken up by sporadic jaunts through A Christmas Carol.

On the horror end...it doesn't have a lot, though it may just be enough to drive you insane...with boredom.

Alice: The Madness Returns is now available from Spicy Horse and Electronic Arts for Microsoft Windows, Xbox 360, and Playstation 3.

For the latest from the MadCapMunchkin, be sure to follow him on Twitter @MadCapMunchkin.

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