Eh...
The plot begins with Mysterio breaking into a museum in New York and being met by the one and only Spider-Man (voiced by Neil Patrick Harris) of the mainstream Marvel universe (Earth-616, for those questioning my nerdy cred). After a short altercation, they shattered an ancient tablet that creates a bunch of flashing lights and scatters itself across various dimensions of time and space. With this having happened, Madame Web (not Doctor Strange, oddly enough) finds Spider-Man as well as three other versions of the Friendly Neighborhood Tablet Shatterer to collect all the pieces of the artifact before it falls into evil hands, which it inevitably has as you discover through your epic journey of padding and button mashing.
The gameplay is split between Marvel's range of Spider-Men...I mean, the various Spider-Men of parallel universe and alternate timelines. Topping the bill, naturally, is the main universe Spider-Man as voiced by Neil Patrick Harris. Following, in order of strengthening obscurity are ; Ultimate Spider-Man (voiced by Josh Keaton), Spider-Man 2099 (voiced, hilariously, by Dan Gilvezan), and Spider-Man Noir (voiced by Christopher Daniel Barnes). The game promises new and innovative gameplay styles for each of the different Spider-Men, no two of them being alike.
It lies, people.
Horrendously.
The only section that bares any real difference from the others is the Noir sections, where it's clear a page was taken right out of Batman: Arkham Asylum's book. Now, I'm not as familiar with Noir as I am with, say, the main Marvel universe (there is a reason it was the most obscure on my list), but this Spider-Man seems quite unable to take on common thugs in a fight and has a strong allergy to bullets, and so more often than not sticks to the shadows when not engaging in the rare bouts of fisticuffs with a ne'er-do-well. He also has the faster health regeneration out of the bunch, but a quick stream of bullets seems to pretty much negate that, and thus shadows and sneak attacks on the unsuspecting mooks.
The other three are the standard beat 'em up affair. Combos, webbing, and snark from all three of the Spider-Men as you give the various mooks a variety of broken bones. If you've played any beat 'em up with some abilities outside of the simple "punch them" type, then you've played this. The only slightly different things come in the Ultimate and 2099 levels. Ultimate Spidey is given the powers of the black suit by Madame Web (because we can't very well have two Spider-Men looking exactly alike, can we?) that unlocks a "Symbiote Rage" mode that basically allows you to take less damage and dish out more of it more quickly. On the opposite side of that, 2099 apparently has his Spider-Sense tuned to the point of being on par with the Dagger of Time from Prince of Persia, allowing him to slow every enemy down around him.
They're both very useful - the Symbiote Rage in particular - but they're both things that have been done before and aren't really the "new and innovative" that the game promises.
In beating up mooks in the levels, you can also pursue a challenge mode that is interwoven within the game to allow access to tiers of upgrades. This brings in health upgrades, new combos to try, and the purely aesthetic choice of different costumes for each of the Spider-Men.
Each level also brings with it a boss battle with an iconic (and sometimes not so iconic) Spidey villain from the various continuities, and here is where I actually have a bit of praise for the game. When the aesthetics are great, they're great. The game's art design shows a lot of care, particularly the 2099 sections with the cityscapes (even if you can't really explore them) and the costumes of the different Spider-Men. In particular, some of the bosses are very interesting visually, such as the 2099 Hobgoblin, the Ultimate Electro (very much resembling Doctor Manhattan), and the Noir Vulture.
My problem with the boss fights is when they're padded out. For example, the Electro level. You pursue the giant blue man and battle him, only to traverse more of the level to follow him and fight him again only for him to escape via cutscene for you to go and battle him one last time. I've read some reviews that have said that this game is too short and I would be inclined to agree. It's padded out profusely and doesn't really show a lot of thought in the level design when all the villains play the "Until next time, Batman!" card, fleeing and then meeting up with them again.
The padding done to the game is also reflected in the objectives within the levels themselves, none more so than the Deadpool level (Oh, yes, there's a Deadpool level). In tangling with the Merc with a Mouth, Ultimate Spidey must smash a series of cameras that are the eyes and ears of His Wilson-ness throughout his facility. And after destroying said cameras...a few more come out for you to break. Shattered Dimensions, let me go ahead and level with you. When I finish off your objective, adding more of the same objective is not only incredibly cheap, it's arbitrary and a complete waste of my time after the third or fourth time you pull it to lengthen out your level.
But, in the end, can I really dislike this game? Can I recommend a game that's three parts beat 'em up, one part Arkham Asylum, and several forced in parts of padding enough for Victoria's Secret to want the patents to it for their next bra?
Nope, I really can't.
I think the blurbs describing each section on the back of the box best describes my feelings over all.
"Amazing: Battle with innovative web combat"...that is nothing different from how web combat has been done in any other Spider-Man game that has done web combat right. No gold stars for following the set standard, Shattered Dimensions.
"2099: Explore a futuristic New York City" ...if by "explore" you mean "follow a linear path through some places that have admittedly really good detail given to the scenery", then sure, I guess this applies.
"Ultimate: Unleash the power of the Black Suit" ...beat up your enemies slightly faster! ...yeah, that's it.
"Noir: Experience stealth based gameplay"...and experience becoming Swiss cheese if you're not all that good at that.
Another gripe that comes to mind is that the four Spider-Men only really interact at the very end of the story, following the defeat of Mysterio. True, the boss fight section seems to incorporate all the them in a weird sort of tag team kind of way between each section of the fight, but I would have liked to see them interact more and perhaps even experience the universes of the different Spider-Men. But all we get is one throw away line, and that's it. Kinda cheap, Shattered Dimensions.
Despite my gripes, this isn't a bad game. If you're a diehard Spider-Man fan (like me), then go for it. Otherwise, you could stand to just give this one a miss and you won't really lose anything. One big thing I can say to its credit (at least from my perspective), is that it doesn't try to shove how "awesome" Wolverine is in my face.
"Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions" is now available from Beenox and Activision for Xbox 360, Playstation 3, Nintendo DS, and PC.
This review is based on the Xbox 360 version.
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