What If...the Doctor never met Rose Tyler? (Series 3, Part 1)

Last time, on this What If?...

The Doctor and "Martha" survived the Battle of Canary Wharf and headed off for further adventures. Adoela is to report to Captain Jack Harkness on any other goings on, with something sinister in the background as - since I forgot to mention it last time - Jack mentions that a "Mr. Saxon" is very interested in reports when she gets the opportunity to make them. It seems that Mr. Saxon knows the Doctor quite intimately...

From MadCap's Couch - "Doctor Who: Last of the Time Lords"

So we come to it at last. The end of the road that began in The Runaway Bride. We've seen cartoon vampires, Into the Dalek('s rectum), Shakespeare, a sentient sun, and statues that only move when we aren't looking, among other things. We've seen the return of the Master and the best version of him since Anthony Ainley before he was replaced by...John Simms.

And I've expressed my issues with John Simms last week, so I won't go into them here. I will elaborate on them later in the review.

What I will go into, however, is the final episode of Series 3 - Last of the Time Lords.

MadCap's Reel Thoughts - "Highlander II: The Quickening" (1991)

Instead of a kind of magic like last time, this one is just a curse...a terrible, terrible curse.

Highlander II: The Quickening is possibly the worst conceived idea since the invention of cholera. It's often called the worst film ever made and it really isn't (for me, at least, that remains Deathstalker (and yes, I will keep going on about that). Whereas Deathstalker was just utter exploitation garbage that went nowhere and was going to go nowhere, Highlander II just boggles the mind when you give it any sort of thought.

MadCap's Game Reviews - 200th Review!

Well, here we finally are, 199 reviews under my belt and leading into this. In the nine years and some change since I've started this blog, as of the publishing of this review I will have officially reviewed two hundred video games. What a journey is has been, hasn't it? From sneaking around a space station avoiding certain death to Spider-Man at the edge of time itself, from a crazy party to a haunted art gallery, from chainsaw guns against zombies in the depths of space to using a rock, stick, and sword to save Middle-Earth, we have been all over the place in these last 200 reviews, haven't we?

So the question becomes obvious - having covered so much, what could I possibly review for an occasion as momentous as this? After all, way back in 2015 when I did my 100th review, I reviewed a game very close to my heart - Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind. Despite having basically gone off to do a bunch of other things as well, such as television and movie reviews (which I'm sure you've all been diligently reading every last one of them), reviewing games is the reason that I started this blog back in 2011, so it feels important that I don't ignore such a milestone as this.

Hmmm...what to review?

...

...y'know what? I'm not gonna drag this bit out any more.  You know I have to give an answer eventually and I've typed this entire thing out, and it's Gauntlet: Dark Legacy.

What If...the Empire of the Wolf Began in Tooth and Claw? (Finale)

What a journey it's been, huh?

We've seen Jack Harkness, Time Agent and pansexual badass, contend for five parts of utter mayhem in a timeline where time itself is unraveling around him. I've collected all the story fragments here for any future reading pleasure. I was going to do an entire recap of the previous five parts of the episode, but I think if you're in this by now then you have a good grasp of what has been going on. If not...well, you have the link.

Last time, however...

Rassilon and the rest of the Time Lords had arrived on Earth through the Time Lock. As the universe is falling apart not only there, but everywhere, he has managed to take down the Master and remove from him the infection of the Wolf (seemingly destroying it in the process). The clone of Rose Tyler kept by the Master/Wolf has started gaining flashes of memory after fighting the Daleks, a memory of a life she never led. So how will the Doctor and Jack get out of this one? Let's check it out!

From MadCap's Couch - "Doctor Who: The Sound of Drums"

"I am the Master, and these...I pulled right out of my ass."

So, last time we left the Doctor, Martha, and Jack were left trapped at the end of the universe after the Master pulled a Grand Theft TARDIS with seemingly no way of escape and the Futurekind about to devour them. One hell of a cliffhanger, right? You'd imagine that with a set up that good, that you'd imagine that - with the drama of the situation - it'd make for a fantastic resolution.

Well, maybe someday, they'll make that resolution, because this is the Russell T. Davies era. It's this era of the show where drama exists only when it's convenient and then tossed on shelf whenever the writer doesn't care about it anymore.

Until he does again.

From MadCap's Couch - "Doctor Who: Utopia"

"Hey, have I got something in my teeth?"

Utopia is technically the first part of the Revived Series' first three-parter, even if it isn't listed as such. The ending of this episode is picked up upon right at the beginning of The Sound of Drums and that leads into Last of the Time Lords. Hence why I include it as a three-part episode. Utopia is the first part in the...well, you'll see very shortly if you don't already know.

MadCap's Reel Thoughts - "Barbarian Queen" (1985)

What's that? Oh, you thought we were going to be covering the Rankin/Bass Return of the King? What would have ever given you that idea?

But we'll get into Warner Brothers and their fantastic voyage of marketing another day. Today, I have a brain hemorrhage to have.

I mean, Barbarian Queen to review.

...same thing, really.

From MadCap's Couch - "Doctor Who: Blink"

"I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque!"

Blink is a Steven Moffat episode and is considered one of the high water marks for the Revived Series and for Doctor Who in general. It's also a Doctor lite episode, which you might have a bad impression of if the only one you've seen thus far is Love & Monsters. I'm happy to say the Doctor lite episodes do actually get better as the Series goes on...until the last one, which was so not good that they dropped the concept shortly thereafter, but Closing Time is miles away from this in terms of quality (even though that's technically a "companion-lite" episode, but never mind). However, we have something glorious to distract us from the oncoming crap - both in later Series and in this Series still to come.

MadCap's Reel Thoughts - "The Lord of the Rings" (1978)

So, accidentally spelled his name "Ralph Bakashi" last week. Whoops!

So, anyway. Ralph Bakshi is a director who is known primarily for his work in animation. He's notable for, among other things, directing the first X-rated animated film ever made (by MPAA standards, anyway), producing the original Mighty Mouse series, and well...this movie.

Needless to say, we have a very eclectic individual on our hands, folks.

MadCap's Game Reviews - "The Hobbit"

Finally! Getting to something I've really looked forward to reviewing! The Hobbit!



...no, not the Peter Jackson one. That comes lat-hang on a sec. This seems really familiar.

From MadCap's Couch - "Doctor Who: The Family of Blood"

"Foolish Doctor! I have not yet begun to HAAAAAAM!!!"

Last time, John Smith was battling the forces of Insane Troll Logic. Martha Jones was held at gunpoint as was Joan Redfern and it seemed like there was no way out.

...so, naturally, there is a way out, because two-parter.