MadCap's Game Reviews - "The Worst of 2017"

So...2017 was not a busy year for me in gaming. My job picked up and I spent several months dealing with a major change. I spent a great deal of the year in a depressive funk. I also participated in NaNo in November and wrote 50,000 words of Star Wars fanfiction before it inevitably collapsed in on itself. I suppose, then, that the conversation turning to things turning to absolute garbage is why I'm here, ultimately. No, I didn't review a lot of games in 2017. Out of 52 weeks of the year...I managed 16.

Yeah, no. Not a great year. Needless to say, I am ready to watch 2017 die.

But all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind...or something along those lines. Let's crack into the three worst games of 2017. Why three instead of ten or even five? Because when you break it down, I technically only reviewed twelve games seeing as the Guardians of the Galaxy: The Telltale Series. And - spoiler alert! - I have to take it off the table for both the good and the bad list. While it had no place on this list, it would be in the Good one. It likely would take up every slot. Hence, we're down to three with those off the table.

And so, without further adieu...number three...

MadCap's NaNoWriMo 2017 - "Minos Mayhem" - Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen - All But Extinct

By the time they had made it back to the shuttle, and Calen had given his fourth explanation of what had happened, his new shipmates were still in heavy disbelief. Calen honestly couldn’t say that he believed everything he had seen, but knew well that there had to be at least some truth to it. Whatever was on Pergitor, Critus wanted it. If he wanted it, so did the Empire. The fortune hidden in that ship aside, the gem...calling it the Heart or whatever it was actually called was irrelevant...was something that could not be allowed to fall into their hands. This information, the map, all of it had to be brought to the Alliance.

“So the Critus in this vision…” Niyasa started, having made the most headway into working it all out.

“Was an illusion created by the Gesaril cave.” Calen said. “I had thought the other dreams were just illusions too, but now I’m not so sure.” He had not forgotten the nightmares that had plagued him since the news had broken about Alderaan’s destruction...that need to run built up in him.

“So...you’re telling me that kook running that cult of eye-worshippers is going to get a magic rock that’s going to destroy the galaxy?” Tessa asked.

“...yes. That.” Calen said. As much as he was becoming a little irate her insisting on using the term ‘magic’, it was fitting enough. Of course, he didn’t know what else one could call the Force besides magic. Onboard the ship, Calen slid into the cockpit’s pilot seat, Tessa moving into the co-pilot’s seat.

“You do realize that they’re in no way going to think you’re not crazy, right?” Tessa asked.

MadCap's NaNoWriMo 2017 - "Minos Mayhem" - Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve - "First Step Into A Larger World"

It didn’t take them long after that to find a good enough vessel. A lone Lambda-class shuttle was still in somewhat working order amongst the wrecks of vessels. It wouldn’t be a comfy ride by any means, but they could at least get off the planet and back to Karideph. Niyasa spent some time tearing out the bits of their vessel anyway, when she found better parts in other ones that remained.

“You can fly this, I take it?” She asked as they finally got onboard.

“I can actually fly very well, yes.” Calen said. “I did say I was going to be a TIE pilot before, wasn’t I?”

“That you did.” Niyasa said.

“How’d you think I could do that if I weren’t good?” Calen asked. “Those things are basically a seat strapped to an engine. Without shields.”

“Point withdrawn.” The Mrlssi held up her claws as if washing them of the whole thing. Calen took his spot at one of the two pilot seats, checking the interface.

“Looks like we’re good.” Calen said, genuinely surprised that the shuttle was in any workable condition - Niyasa’s technical skills aside. “All lights are green. Let’s see what this piece of junk can do.” After Niyasa had taken her seat, Calen lifted the shuttle up from the landing pad. Almost immediately, due to the slant of the Destroyer, the proximity alarm started blaring wildly. “Easy, easy…” Calen kept his grip on the control yoke firm, a few well-placed taps against the control console keeping them from ascending any higher. He fed the acceleration, pushing them forward.

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For the latest from the MadCapMunchkin, be sure to follow him on Twitter @MadCapMunchkin. 

MadCap At The Movies - "Star Wars: The Last Jedi"

Is it possible to measure soul-crushing disappointment? Why, yes indeed, there is! Two hours and thirty minutes according to the latest entry into the Star Wars franchise! I was someone who defended The Force Awakens. I enjoyed it. I still do. Unfortunately, now, every single viewing I have of it from now until the end of my linear existence is going to see to it that it is tainted by the knowledge that this is what follows it.

This.

I'm going to go ahead and warn you now, this is where the spoiler warning begins. I am going to praise the few things that I can about this movie before vivisecting it, pointing out and pulling hard on every single loose thread in this tapestry until I have dismantled it...and then I will take the time to fix the very, very many mistakes to salvage this clunker.

That being said, I will say that you should see it. It is, after all, another part of the story and despite all the raging and complaining I have to do here, Disney pretty much has me by the balls because I have to see how this ends.

Last warning for spoilers. If you haven't seen the film yet and still wish to without spoilers, turn back now.

MadCap's NaNoWriMo 2017 - "Minos Mayhem" - Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven - "Mindless Philosopher"

An Imperial prisoner transport was hardly a comfortable place by design. For the purposes of a night’s rest, however, it served the purpose. When Calen settled into his small bunk, he did not expect that this night would be any more pleasant than any of the others he’d had. When he awoke in a familiar dreamscape...he found that he was right. The forest, the table with the feast, and Critus sitting at it in his robes and turban.

“Sleeping well?” He asked, pouring himself another glass of some liquid from a crystal decanter.

“...oh, well, of course.” Calen snorted. “I often enjoy dreams where I’m assaulted by strange men in bathrobes.”

“Perhaps my previous attempt to convince you was...overzealous.” Critus said.

“What tipped you off? The blood cup?” Calen asked as he watched the older man sigh, rubbing his temple. “Oh, I’m sorry. Is that annoying? Is it like someone invaded your dreams while you sleep?”

“So you accept that this isn’t a dream, then?”

“I’ve seen enough crazy things over the last few days that I’m willing to believe anything.” Calen was unnerved as Critus smiled a most...unnerving smile, his lips twisted in a way most unpleasant.

“At least you are accepting the reality.” Critus said. “Soon, you shall come to us and aid in our mission.”

MadCap's NaNoWriMo 2017 - "Minos Mayhem" - Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten - "A Real Short Trip"

Once more creeping up behind set of crates after set of crates, ship after ship, Calen found himself no closer to locating any sign of Ordos. This was a stupid plan, and he knew it well. Knowing Tessa, the rest would be taking off the moment they got that transport running, no questions asked. Some allies! Of course, Calen supposed he couldn’t blame them. To be a member of the Rebels was a death sentence, so perhaps he was in good company. It seemed even this far out in the galaxy, the War wasn’t something that could be so easily avoided. Stuck in the middle of it now, he made the choice to save Ordos, if he could.

The deck was still crawling with Stormtroopers, all searching. Calen watched their patterns, did his best to get through them without arousing suspicion. The lights were apparently on his side (either through Dax’s machinations or poor maintenance as had been with the stairwell’s coolant system), but how long would that last? How long could he creep from shadow to shadow to find what he sought? How long could-his eyes caught the movement, seeing the older man moving to a docking control terminal.

‘What is he doing?’ Calen thought, watching him manipulate the interface. It began to loudly shriek out yet another alarm.

“There he is! Stop right there!” A Stormtrooper was drawn to the sound and received one of Ordos blaster shots to the head for his trouble. Three others were moving in on him, Ordos ducking behind the lowered ramp of a freighter to avoid their fire and return with some of his own. Calen immediately began to rush forward, hoping to assist him in his defense and get him to the transport without further incident. It was then that Ordos managed to take out not one, not two, but all three of his attackers in rapid succession. It was then that the old man noticed him.

“You shouldn’t be here! Go, now!” Ordos snapped.

“I was just trying to-” Calen started.

“Go, to the transport! Get out of here!”

“I’m not leaving you behind!”

“Like Hell you aren’t, boy! Go!” Ordos shouted. Calen was taken aback. “Don’t make me put some fire behind that.” Ordos warned, lowering the blaster to face the younger man.

“This is insane!” Calen protested.

“Go!” Ordos roared, then gasped as a blaster bolt tore through his hand and forced him to drop the weapon. Calen turned just in time to have his own shot from his grasp, luckily with only the weapon itself harmed. He turned, too, to see a familiar visage coming down the way toward them, flanked at either side by Stormtroopers in black armor - an elite guard.

“Well, well, well…” Ayro’s black eyes stared at both of the men. “I do not believe this is your holding cell. We should rectify that.”