Madcap's D&D Builds - Christine (5e)

Huh? What's that? I can't make a character build around a possessed 1958 Plymouth Fury? That's insane? Ridiculous?

Well, you may be right. I may be crazy. But guess what?

I'm MadCapMunchkin and I can do whatever the hell I want. Let's do it!

So, for those unfamiliar, Christine was a novel written by Stephen King about a possessed 1958 Plymouth Fury. There's more to it than that, but that's the basic idea. In 1983, it was brought to the silver screen at the directing hand of the legendary John Carpenter, so you had two horror pedigrees going to make this beauty... and it shows, because it's still well remembered even today.

Besides, with thirteen previous builds made up of nothing but dudes, I think it's time to throw a little girl power in... with some horse power.

So what are our goals for this build?

• Durability. Christine suffers a hell of a lot of abuse throughout the film and (despite Stephen King not looking for a sequel) we aren't even 100% sure that she's actually defeated by the end of the movie and she has cameos in other King works like The Stand and even IT, so who knows?
• Speed! Christine is hell on wheels, after all. Let's just make it literal!
• Burn, baby, burn! - Christine has pyrokinesis. No reason not to add that to the pile.

For stats, we're going to use the Standard Point Array from the Player's Handbook. As always, I recommend rolling for stats and just using this as a guide for where to place your attributes. Also, make sure that your Intelligence is at least 13 for multiclassing later on.

Constitution: 15

As I said above, Christine is chonky and takes a lot of abuse.

Intelligence: 14

Christine is shown to be very calculating and intelligent in how she pursues her targets. It's also part of the reason we won't be taking a specific class when the time comes.

Dexterity: 13

Like Lightning McQueen, Christine is speed. Unlike Lightning McQueen, her speed kills. Indiscriminately and to great effect.

Wisdom: 12

As said in the Intelligence section, Christine can be very calculating in how she pursues targets.

Strength: 10

Christine does destroy opponents through physical force, we just need other things more.

Charisma: 8

Charisma is getting dumped. She's a beautiful car, but has no respect for or connection to human life.

For background, we're taking up the Haunted One background from Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft. While it's never completely confirmed, we do know that a lot of death has occurred around the car even before the story starts, so I think the bloodshed more than qualifies given the subject matter.

The Haunted One background gives you two skills among Arcana, Investigation, Religion, and Survival. Pick up Arcana and Investigation. You also receive two languages... but you're a car, so...

And how do we make a car a race in D&D? ...not that kind of race, stop snickering.

Well, it's simple. (I said stop.)

Christine is a Warforged as seen in Eberron: Rising from the Last War. Starting out, Warforged get a +2 to their Constitution and a +1 to one other ability score of their choice. Beef up Constitution and Intelligence, setting us at a nice 17 and 15 right off the bat.

Warforged start off with a walking speed of 30 feet, and possess a Constructed Resilience, which gives them several benefits such as:

• Advantage on saving throws against being poisoned and having resistance to poison damage.
• Don't need to eat, drink, or breathe.
• Immune to disease.
• Don't need to sleep and magic can't be put to sleep.
• Immune to magical aging effects.

Pretty hefty to start out, right? And we aren't even done!

Warforged still have to rest, but get the benefit of a long rest with only six hours and they are motionless and inactive rather than asleep. They aren't unconscious and can see and hear around them as though they were "awake".

They also gain the benefit of Integrated Protection, which gives them:

• +1 bonus to Armor Class.
• You can only don armor with which you have proficiency and it takes you an hour to incorporate it into your body. It also takes an hour to remove in this fashion. Warforged can also rest while donning and doffing armor.
• Your armor cannot be removed from your body against your will while you live.

With all of that out of the way, let's get into the class selection.

My first thought was Barbarian as Christine definitely has quite a bit of intense rage. However, it's a bit more subtle than a full-on rage monster, so that went out pretty quickly. Still... something very destructive. What could we do? What could we do?

Fighter (1) starts us out with proficiency with all armor and shields, all weapons, and proficiency in Strength and Constitution saving throws. You also choose two skills from Acrobatics, Animal Handling, Athletics, History, Insight, Intimidation, Perception, and Survival. We'll be taking Athletics and Perception to make a good use of our bonuses.

Fighters at first level must pick a Fighting Style. We'll be going with Defense to boost our AC by 1 whenever we wear armor. Fighters also get a Second Wind, allowing Christine to use a bonus action to regain hit points equal to 1d10+her fighter level, regaining the ability to use it again after a long or short rest.

Second level Fighters (2) gain an Action Surge, giving them a second action on top of their regular and bonus action each turn. After using this, they regain this ability after a short or long rest.

At third level, Christine takes Fighter (3) to the next level by picking a Martial Archetype. We're going with Battle Master, which is heavily detailed on page 73 and 74 of the Player's Handbook.

As a Student of War, you gain proficiency in one type of artisan's tools. I will remind you, you are a murderous car. Your art is gratuitous and indiscriminate murder.

A Battle Master learns some Maneuvers, three of them, and some Superiority Dice (four d8s) to go with them.

We will be going with:

Evasive Footwork - When moving, roll a superiority die and add that number to your AC until you stop moving.

Menacing Attack - On a successful hit against a target, spend a superiority die to force a Wisdom saving throw on the target. On a failed save, the target is frightened of you until the end of your next turn.

Pushing Attack - On a successful hit against a target, spend a superiority die. Add the number to the damage and, if the target is Large or smaller, it must make a Strength saving throw. On a failure, they are pushed 15 feet away from you.

At fourth level, Fighters (4) gain their very first Ability Score Improvement or Feat. Tough gives you 2 hit points for every level you have and every level you get from here on out. Pretty much just a great feat to have no matter what your build.

Fifth level of Fighter (5) gives us an Extra Attack, allowing for two attacks in one round instead of just the one.

However, we will be leaving the Fighter class behind. Our next stop will be Wizard (1) when we hit sixth level. Becoming a wizard gets Christine Spellcasting as well as Arcane Recovery, letting her recover spell slots equal to half of her wizard level (rounded up) after a short rest once per day. However, this does not affect spells over 6th level, so there's no cheesing it trying to get more.

With access to spell casting, Christine gets a few cantrips and spells. For cantrips, we'll be going with fire bolt, light, and dancing lights. For our first level spells, you get six to start out. Burning Hands, Expeditious Retreat, Longstrider, Mage Armor, Protection from Evil and Good, and Shield are some great all-arounder options.

Seventh level brings us to the second level of Wizard (2) and we must choose an Arcane Tradition. In this cae, we'll be going with Bladesinging. Seems like an odd choice, but bear with me.

Christine gains Training in War and Song, which gives her light armor proficiency she already has and proficiency with a melee weapon of her choice... which she already has them all.

Gains Performance as a skill, though. Shame Charisma is our dump stat.

The real benefit at 2nd level comes with Bladesong. While not wearing heavy armor or using a shield, Christine can invoke ancient elven magic to provide a variety of benefits such as:

• a bonus to your AC equal to your Intelligence modifier (minimum of +1)
• walking speed increases by 10 feet.
• advantage on Dexterity (Acrobatics) checks.
• gain a bonus to any Constitution saving throw you make to maintain your concentration on a spell. The bonus equals your Intelligence modifier (minimum of +1).

So, we're able to beef up, move slightly faster, and get a boost to our ability to concentrate as needed. This can be used a number of times equal to Christine's Proficiency bonus, and then she must take a long rest.

What's that? A car can't sing? Checkmate, atheists!

You also get two new spells just for being a wizard! Neat! Feather Fall and Grease have some use in protection and environment control, which is never not fun to have.

Eighth level gives us Wizard (3) and unlocks second level spells. Continual Flame and Scorching Ray bring us a bit more pyrokinesis.

Ninth level gives us the fourth level of Wizard (4) and gives us another Ability Score Improvement or Feat. I was jokingly going to say to get Mounted Combatant given the subject of our post here, which I suppose you could get a re-flavor with the permission of your DM if you really wanted to do this. Instead, we'll go with Mobile, which as +10 to Christine's speed, makes difficult terrain not cost extra movement when she uses the Dash action, and basically denies an opponent opportunity attacks after she's made a melee attack against an enemy whether or not the attack hits.

Also, something something two new spells! Flaming Sphere and Gust of Wind can fill out some extra need nicely there.

Christine also gets her fourth cantrip from being a wizard. In this case, let's go with mending as it's particularly useful to a Warforged.

Tenth level and we're at Wizard (5) and we get access to 3rd level spells! It's finally time for the myth and legend itself - fireball! Also, we'll be going with haste to increase our speed even more.

At eleventh level, Wizards (6) who take the path of Bladesinging gain an extra attack... but that unfortunately does not stack with the same ability we gain from Fighter. Oops!

For spells, go for Fear and Protection from Energy.

At twelfth level, Wizards (7) reaching the seventh level get access to fourth level spells. Fire shield gives us exactly what it says on the tin, and wall of fire will make sure none of those deserving of Christine's vengeance can get away from her so easily.

At thirteenth level, Christine once more takes the path of Wizard (8) and receives another Ability Score Improvement or a Feat. Boost your Constitution and Intelligence for better bonuses (should be 18 and 16 now, not bad) to your concentration and your spell save DC.

For spells, Confusion and Phantasmal Killer will make for a fun time.

Fourteenth level and Christine is once more going with Wizard (9) and gets access to 5th level spells. Telekinesis from 5th level popping back to 4th level, we'll pick up Dimension Door to give us more mobility options.

Fifteenth level and the dip into Wizard (10) continues! As a Bladesinger, Christine earns the Song of Defense. Using a reaction, Christine can expend a spell slot to reduce damage by 5 times the spell's level so long as Bladesong is active.

Christine also gains her last cantrip from being a wizard. I'll just throw Blade Ward in, because why not?

Sixteenth level, Wizard (11) brings us sixth level spells. Globe of Invulnerability and Sunbeam come to the list.

Seventeenth level and Wizard (12) gives Christine an Ability Score Improvement or a Feat. Keep pumping into Constitution and Intelligence for reasons we've already discussed (19 and 17 for those keeping score at home).

Eighteenth level and Christine's journey into Wizard (13) continues with access to 7th level spells. Delayed Blast Fireball and Teleport are two spells that I really do think speak for themselves.

Nineteenth level puts us to Wizard (14) and gets us the final ability from Bladesinging - Song of Victory. When Bladesong is active, Christine can add her Intelligence modifier to the damage of her weapon attacks.

Twentieth level puts us at Wizard (15) and gives us our capstone level as well as access to 8th level spells. Incendiary Cloud and Sunburst will round out our spell list.

Now that we've hit level 20, let's look at our pros and cons for this build.

Pros:

• You have a lot of options for all out attacks, enemy controlling, and even environmental control. Between your fighter abilities, your Bladesong, and your spell effects, you're a force to be reckoned with.
• You have a lot of mobility. Your uptick in speeds from both the Mobile and your Bladesong putting you at a natural speed of 50 is pretty damn good. Add in spells like expeditious retreat and haste and it gets even better. Then, of course, you have spells like dimension door and teleport just to take you that much further.
• You have a pretty good armor class starting out. If you're going with 10 + Dexterity + Modifiers, you're at a +2 starting out and a +3 when using Bladesong. With half plate (the best medium armor), that's putting you at a solid 18 to start off. Not too bad.

Cons: 

• You have a lot of options for attacks, but almost all of your spells involve fire and you're likely to have a very bad time with enemies that are resistant or are outright immune. You also lose a big one in meteor storm at 9th level... which you can't reach.
• Your armor makes you a tough nut to crack, but those d6 hit dice from Wizard are not doing you too many favors even with a high Constitution score. It is hard to hit you, but you're pretty boned once they do hit you.
• A lot of your best abilities only really work while Bladesong is active. When it isn't or you run out of uses, you lose a lot of what makes this build work.

But hey, you're a possessed car from one of the best eras in the American automobile industry. Crank up the tunes and go cruising for murder. Just make sure to keep a close eye on the people you're trying to kill and stay away from the junkyard. You never know, you might end up getting squished...