From MadCap's Couch - "Doctor Who: The Waters of Mars"

Excuse me, do you have any Grey Poupon?

Okay, so, real talk: out of the four specials done for 2008-2009, this is the good one.

And I mean really good - again, Russell, you had this in you and you gave us so much crap. Why? Why did you do this to us, Russell? What did we ever do to you? Is it because I mocked and belittled your beloved Rose Tyler? Some ten years after the fact?

. . .do you have a TARDIS, Russell? Is that how you did it?

Anyway, so...The Waters of Mars. This is the best episode out of the 2009 Specials - affectionately referred to by another reviewer, Diamanda Hagan, as the "David Tennant Farewell Parade of Death". Interestingly enough, this has one major difference from both episodes that preceded it and especially the one that follows it - it doesn't suck.

Hell, if anything, this is potentially the best performance that David Tennant has ever given during his tenure on the show, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

We begin with a video message from Earth being watched by one Captain Adelaide Brooke (played by Lindsay Duncan) speaking to her daughter over a video message. She doesn't specify why, but Adelaide has been away from Earth for 10 years. The Doctor arrives...on Mars! In the Sanctuary Base air suit from way back during his lambada with Satan at a black hole, he treks out across the rocky terrain and finds Bowie Base One...and is immediately put at gunpoint by a robot with a gun!

After the main title sequence, the Doctor is interrogated by Brooke and eventually she does lower her gun at his insistence...although the robot, Gadget, is kept on him. Needless to say, after a decade on Mars, the people of Bowie Base One are amazed to see another person on the planet. This includes two gardeners who are cut off from communications with the others...one of them eating a carrot and then starting to exude water from his mouth, turning on his comrade.

The Doctor gets some details from the group, and we get an odd quirk of this episode that I don't think has ever popped up before or since - the Doctor visually historical events via their Wikipedia pages. Or, at least, I think that's what's going on? It's never really made clear. We get some exposition about the group on Mars - namely that they're the first human colonists on Mars, something the Doctor recognizes...and recognizes that the date of 2059 is a particularly important one, namely that it was when the base was destroyed for reasons unknown.

"The sign says 'No solicitors'!"

The Doctor attempts to leave, telling them that it was an honor to have met them...but this is one of those times where he has no choice. As he's leaving, however, he mentions the other two people...and the second-in-command phones up the garden to get the two to come up...and hears a guttural roar coming from the other end. The internal cameras are down and the power is going out. Brooke tells the Doctor to cowboy up and come with her, reasoning that he isn't leaving because this all started when he arrived.

On the way, Brooke tries to get information from the Doctor about his shock over their state and he side-steps the question, instead talking about Brooke and her own life. She name drops some events such as the "Oil Apocalypse" and mentions that getting above all the chaos and destruction on Earth to stand on a world that was unsoiled was more than worth it. A bit further, and they find one of the gardeners - Maggie, who is comatose and then put into quarantine. When two of the other crew members play back the roaring noise, they register the voice as Andy - the other gardener.

As the Doctor, Brooke, and one of the other crew look through the arboretum for Andy, Maggie awakens and seems fine...which is definitely not a deception by whatever is now within her body. The crew's doctor finds Andy...leaking water.

Back in the med bay, Maggie begins speaking creepily...and mentions going to Earth, leaking water as well. Hearing about this, the Doctor and Brooke look for and find the crew's doctor and Andy...both of whom are infected. While the Doctor tries to talk to the intelligence possessing Andy, it doesn't seem all that responsive and he and Brooke make a break for it.

The three infected beings start exuding more water against the walls, but all are contained...for now. Brooke orders her crew to close off all water, no drinking and not even any touching. The Doctor once more insists that he has to go, that he can't be here. The Doctor and Brooke get on Gadget, after some souping it up, in order to escape the infected once they break through the air-tight seal. Despite Brooke insisting that they can't get through the door into the main dome, the Doctor mentions that water is patient...water wears down mountains and landscapes and everything it touches.

Water...always wins...

They're watching Some Like It Hot. Y'know, that scene.

Back in the main dome, the group heads to the medical bay and tries to address Maggie. While she does seem to recognize the Doctor's speaking Martian, she doesn't actually respond to their words. Brooke tells the Doctor that their water comes from a glacier that Bowie Base One, which clearly has had something terrible going on. Brooke orders an evacuation, though the Doctor brings up that they can't leave - they've all been drinking the same water and could all be infected. Brooke reasons that they can work out when the first infections happened and goes to check out the ice field. The Doctor, unable to keep himself out of it, goes after her even as he insists he should be leaving...

The crew continues evacuation procedures...and water waits.

At the ice fields, the Doctor theorizes that the Ice Warriors must have frozen whatever this infection is within the fields. As Brooke scans the information, she questions the Doctor again and the Doctor relents enough to mention that this moment, everything that's happening at Bowie Base One, is a fixed point in time. What happens here must always happen, no matter what. The Doctor works out some of Brooke's backstory, namely that she saw a Dalek fifty years ago when the Earth was stolen...and it didn't kill her for reasons she didn't understand at the time.

She knew, though, she would follow it...not for revenge, but for exploration, something which makes the Doctor smile and he tells her about her granddaughter and all the things she will do out of being inspired by Brooke herself and how that will lead to so, so much more. Brooke, naturally, is shocked...and demands to know why he would tell her all of this. The Doctor views it as consolation. Before he can be questioned, they find the point in the log that tells them that a filter broke and the infection - the Flood, the Doctor calls it - only happened that day, so everyone who isn't already infected is safe.

At the dome, Brooke gives the Doctor back his suit and thanks him for his help and declares her belief that this is the moment that they escape. The Doctor...looks unsure, watching as the crew packs up to leave. He leaves, but Brooke traps him in the corridor leading out and demands answers. He tells her, saying that this base and what happens here as well as Brooke's death are all fixed points in time. She will die here, today. Despite toying with the idea of keeping him there with them when he insists he can't help, Brooke lets him go, damning him regardless.

As the Doctor leaves, water starts flooding into the base and the crew tries to get to the shuttle. All hell is breaking loose, however, and he hears it over the comms. David Tennant gives a masterful performance as we can see the full conflict going on with the Doctor, having to walk away from these people...as everything goes to Hell...his chances of saving them ruined by the laws of Time.

. . .or are they?

The rocket is ruined, the second-in-command forced to detonate it, and the people are trapped with their last chance of escape ruined and the Flood spreading all throughout the base. Thrown flat on his face by the explosion, the Doctor begins to hear clips from previous episodes talking about how he is the last of the Time Lords...the only survivor of the War...they're all gone, they aren't coming back...

You're damn right this required a GIF.

And, like an avenging angel sent forth to slay the demon, he returns and takes charge, rallying Brooke and her remaining crew to set things right. Brooke implores him to go and not die with them, but the Doctor rebukes this. He's been told that he was going to die, that "he will knock four times" before it happens and he knows that isn't now - because he doesn't hear anyone knocking.

. . .one of the Flood then proceed to knock on a door three times in an attempt to get in. The Doctor electrocutes them before they can knock a fourth time.

Brooke insists that the Doctor said that they would die, that they were supposed to die and that nothing could change it. The Doctor's response?

"There are laws...there are laws of time. And once upon a time, there were people in charge of those laws, but they died! They all died! Do you know who that leaves? ME! It's taken me all these years to realize - the Laws of Time are mine! And THEY WILL OBEY ME!"

Despite Brooke's insistence, the Doctor refuses to give up and throws in everything but the kitchen sink to stop the Flood and save the remnants of Bowie Base One, including the use of Gadget to get by remote pilot and get to the TARDIS. Brooke ends up activating the warhead under the base, the Doctor declaring that he will fight her as well as the Flood and Time itself if he has to. In a tense couple of minutes, the Doctor gets Gadget to the TARDIS and takes off...and the base erupts in fire.

We trade a silent, red planet for a blue-green one as the TARDIS emerges on Earth just outside of the home of Brooke. The two remaining members of Brooke's crew - Mia and Yuri - are understandably freaked out and take off at the first opportunity. Brooke questions the Doctor about what he did and, while the Doctor tries to paint this as something good, Brooke is quick to remind him of all the things he told her about, what her granddaughter and her descendants do, might now never happen. It could change the future of the human race.

The Doctor's reply? "Tough."

There's a good back and forth where we see that the Doctor has clearly let this power get to his head, to Brooke's disgust, he christens himself "Time Lord Victorious". She declares that he's wrong, but the Doctor claims that is for him to decide. The Doctor, going from dark to cheerful, unlocks Brooke's door for her and wishes her well...Brooke stepping into her home and pulling out a gun, the shot heard from outside as the Doctor again has that weird Wikipedia vision in seeing the new course of events as the Doctor collapses against the TARDIS.

Copper warned him. Copper warned him...

Brooke's words echo through the Doctor's mind: "I don't care who you are. The Time Lord Victorious is wrong!" and the Doctor realizes that he's gone too far. Looking out, he sees none other than Ood Sigma staring at him. The Doctor asks him if this is his death...but Sigma simply disappears. Getting back into the TARDIS, the Doctor stands at the time rotor and the cloister bell rings loudly as he declares his defiance...shooting off into time and space once again.

The Waters of Mars is magnificent from start to finish. I honestly don't even know where to begin with this. It takes the traditional sci-fi trope of a bunch of characters stuck in a place with no outside access or easy means of escape such as in Alien and strikes them with a disaster that they have to overcome in order to survive. Throwing in the Doctor wasn't necessary for this to work as a good story, although it definitely helps. The characters in Bowie Base One's crew are each given a little bit of character, which really helps when the bodies start getting flooded.

The Flood itself is...okay. Pretty terrifying a concept, considering how much humans need water. For those of you not on the take - we're pretty much needing water. The makeup job with the actors is minimalistic compared to some of the designs we've seen, but it fits in with the overall dark, oppressive tone the episode is just dripping with.

As I said in the introduction, this is possibly David Tennant's best performance as the Doctor. He gives us awe at meeting these ill-fated heroes, his conflict at not being able to alter a fixed point in time, his absolute maniac insanity as he literally races against Time to save the crew, his smug superiority as he becomes the Time Lord Victorious, and finally complete and utter destitution as he realizes just how absolutely far he has gone and realizing his death is near...and then defiance as he tries to avoid it.

Lindsay Duncan absolutely shines as Captain Adelaide Brooke, being a good counter-balance to the Doctor and she's definitely someone who would have made a neat companion full time. Alas, she was too good to last, much like The Waters of Mars itself. Unfortunately, as we have gone up to a summit of greatness...it's time once again to take a running leap right off the mountain.

The Song must end, soon...

It's time...

The End of time, in fact.

. . .

I have not been looking forward to this, but at least when it's over, it's over. Unlike The Waters of Mars, this one is going to hurt.

It's going to hurt a lot.