From MadCap's Couch - "Doctor Who: The Runaway Bride"

MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!!

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas Eve, everybody! Well, the time has finally come. Let's introduce my favorite companion of the Russell T. Davies era...who sadly has a premiere that is multiple varieties of not great. Actually, a lot of things about this episode really aren't that great. However, it does have one of my favorite moments in the Russell T. Davies era (which admittedly should have come long before this point) and a few good moments here and there. With that, let's get into it.

MadCap At The Movies - "Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker"

Well, here we are again.

To misquote a poorly-written version of a great Jedi Master, "no one's love of Star Wars is ever really gone". However, does this mean that The Rise of Skywalker has re-ignited my love of the franchise that Rian Johnson snuffed out and has spent the better part of the last two years laughing at me from his lofty perch supported only by Reylo shippers and bullshit?

But I repeat myself. Let's get into the end of the "Skywalker Saga", which I could have sworn I reviewed quite some time ago, but nevermind me.

MadCap's Fiction Corner - "Minos Mayhem, Chapter 10"

Once more creeping up behind set of crates after set of crates, ship after ship, Calen found himself no closer to locating any sign of Ordos. This was a stupid plan, and he knew it well. Or, at least, he knew it now. Knowing Tessa, the rest would be taking off the moment they got that transport running, no questions asked. Some allies! Calen supposed he couldn’t blame them. To be a member of the Rebels was a death sentence as far as the Empire was concerned, so perhaps he was in good company. It seemed even this far out in the galaxy, the War wasn’t something that could be so easily avoided. Stuck in the middle of it now, he made the choice to save Ordos, if he could.

 The deck was still crawling with Stormtroopers, all searching. Calen watched their patterns, did his best to get through them without arousing suspicion. The lights were apparently on his side (either through Dax’s machinations or poor maintenance as had been with the stairwell’s coolant system), but how long would that last? How long could he creep from shadow to shadow to find what he sought? How long could-his eyes caught the movement, seeing the older man moving to a docking control terminal.

 ‘What is he doing?’ Calen thought, watching him manipulate the interface. It began to loudly shriek out yet another alarm.

 “There he is! Stop right there!” A Stormtrooper was drawn to the sound and received one of Ordos' blaster shots to the head for his trouble. Three others were moving in on him, Ordos ducking behind the lowered ramp of a freighter to avoid their fire and return with some of his own. Calen immediately began to rush forward, hoping to assist him in his defense and get him to the transport without further incident. It was then that Ordos managed to take out not one, not two, but all three of his attackers in rapid succession. It was then that the old man noticed him.

 “You shouldn’t be here! Go, now!” Ordos snapped.

 “I was just trying to-” Calen started.

 “Go, to the transport! Get out of here!”

MadCap Fixes Movies - "The Last Jedi"

Oooooh, boy, has this been a long time coming. Hasn't it?

The time was December 15, 2017. I had settled into my seat to be dazzled and amazed by the next chapter in the Star Wars saga. The movie started rolling...and then we saw Luke Skywalker haphazardly chuck his father's lightsaber over his shoulder and go on to drink milk he'd milked out of alien boobs.

We saw Poe Dameron making "Yo mama" jokes.

We saw Finn's character arc destroyed and reverted as he turned into a comic relief joke.

We saw Admiral Holdo, who is potentially the worst military leader since General Custer.

We saw Snoke made irrelevant within the space of a few seconds.

We saw any defense Rey had against being a Mary Sue be destroyed as any attempt at answering questions was ruined.

We saw Rose Tico and bullshit moralizing that ended up with a bunch of children still in enslavement.

We saw a "kill the past" message being rammed down our throats by literally the worst character to be chosen to be the one to give said message considering his Discord account is xxDarthxxVaderxxLoverxx1337.

We saw whole fragments of canon being ignored or perverted just to tell the story that Rian Johnson wanted to tell.

And none of it being acceptable in the EIGHTH FILM OF YOUR FRANCHISE!

And then, of course, there was everything that came after.

What If...the Empire of the Wolf began in Tooth and Claw? (Part 1)

Hey everybody! It's MadCap with another What If? born out of my insane mind! This time, I want to go all the way back to Tooth and Claw in Series 2. For those of you who don't want to click that link and help contribute to the all of three bucks of ad revenue I've garnered in almost a decade running this blog, here's a quick recap of the episode: A bunch of monks who do kung fu once and then never again help a werewolf in its quest to bite Queen Victoria. The Doctor stops them using the moon and a diamond.

...it's Doctor Who, context only makes it worse.