One of the few complains I have about Pokemon GO, a brand spanking new (as of a week ago) augmented reality game developed by Niantic for iOS and Android. And what a revolutionary concept it is, too! I never thought that I would not only be able to take Pokemon on the go despite this being a handheld series for many, many years, but also that I would have the privilege of traveling around the land to be the best like no one ever was by running around and stuffing animals into tiny balls.
My cynicism aside, I figured that - as a fan of the series since its inception in the 1990s - that I should do the decent thing and check it out. Thus, when the American release happened last week, I downloaded it. Within about twenty minutes, I worked out that there was little to no new innovation to the formula, which was not so much a problem for me as one might believe. I was introduced to the kindly Professor Willow (this time an man and not a female professor played by Alyson Hannigan) who let me pick a snazzy new outfit and a nickname (after going through several) before introducing me to the world of Pokemon. Cue the introductory monologue that any fan of the series knows and can probably recite in their sleep by now.
Except now, it's mobile! ...which it was already. Because that's how handhelds work.
Really, besides for the fact that your mobile phone uses GPS to coordinate your position and brings up random Pokemon according to your location, I'm not really sure what the appeal is. Okay, you go around and see Pokemon in augmented reality. While it is cool to catch a Bulbasaur as it wanders ponderously through my hallway, I could just as easily put my Pokemon Red cartridge into my Game Boy color and start up a new game.
...yes, Bulbasaur is the best of the Gen One starters, considering he's useful at the first three Gyms and fills the Grass type slot wonderfully. I mean, I love Charizard as much as the next person, but Bulbasaur is awesome and deserves a little bit more appreciation. But nah, you guys just go play with your fire lizard. Plebs.
And really, that's about all I can say for it besides the terrible server overloads and the GPS that can't actually track anything. I've attempted to walk around both my home and the neighborhood around and occasionally got my avatar to face an entirely different direction. I actually had to go around town itself in order to get any change of scenery, which was admittedly still not a lot. My particular region is little more than forests, swamplands, and the coastline, and my generated map did indeed project the first of those three things...which sadly means a lovely variety of birds and bugs and little else besides the occasional Eevee.
Which brings me to the other problems with mobile gaming, and this one in particular. Pokemon Go insists that you indeed go all over to find all assortments of lovely little 'Mons to stuff into tiny balls and train...which can be a hassle if you don't have a particularly robust or forgiving data plan. See, I'm one of the paranoid types that avoids using data like I've got the plague, so the thought of trying to do any of this without an internet connection is something that frightens the ever-living daylights out of me.
Another thing that frightens the ever living daylights out of me? The Teams system. At fifth level, you choose between one of three different teams - Valor, Instinct, and Mystic. Now, call me a cynic, but every time you get involved with a group with "Team" in the name in the Pokemon games, they tend to be a criminal organization that's trying to do naughty, evil things (and not even the fun kind unless they're Team Rocket). However, for the sake of game mechanics I ended up choosing Mystic because I like the color blue. Do I feel any particular team loyalty? No. And the game doesn't really give me any real reason to, either.
And then, of course, there's microtransactions. And...as usual, there's no point in limiting the amount of fun or enjoyment a player can have by how much money they spend. Granted, the nature of mobile games is different than that of Triple A games, but it just amazes me that so many people (myself sometimes included) that can be so easily suckered in by a business model that should have been laughed at by anyone who brought it up to people with common sense. For an industry that makes so much money off of lies and subterfuge (insert easy Aliens: Colonial Marines joke here), it seems odd that they would go with the minute "bleed 'em dry" model. It's not even like you're getting an extra area to run around in or more Pokemon to unlock.
Just...more Pokeballs.
That's not to say that Pokemon Go is bad. Far from it, in fact, it's a very interesting experiment and it shows that the Pokemon Company knows the lengths that fans will go to to get just a little bit more of their drug of choice. And yes yes, I know new things are being added every day such as trading and battling between players and the like. Also, last I heard, Gen II Pokemon were on the way as well. The problem is that I have to trick my brain into thinking this isn't a Beta...which it technically still is anyway, but I digress. Personally, while I'm a fan of the series as stated before, I think I'll just wait for Sun and Moon to come out closer to the end of the year. Until then, if you're up to the task, go out and be the best like no one ever was, and more power to you!
Next week is another Pokemon game...and it's something far, far worse than this...
Pokemon Go is now available for download on Android and iOS phones from The Pokemon Company and Niantic.
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