Musings from Madcap - Lollipop Chainsaw, Fallout: New Vegas Ultimate Edition, and Skyrim

Another musing from me (which brings my total up to two now), in which I want to bring to light a few things, none of which I can drag out into a full musing. Consider this a potpourri of musing, if you will. Or if you won’t, I don’t care which.

Hopefully With Apologies

First up, Bethesda and Obsidian announced that Fallout New Vegas: Ultimate Edition will be out for sale in February of next year. Since I’ll still be reeling from the might of Skyrim, I won’t be giving several varieties of a damn, but I can only hope that each copy will come with a signed apology from both companies for what a piece of crap that Lonesome Road was compared to all the foreshadowing that they set up in the other three DLCs, as well as the actual story for it rather than a “but for me, it was Tuesday” situation (I’m still bitter about that, can’t you tell?).

Also, fifty bucks for a game that’s already out and most people who care have already purchased all the DLC? Sigh…

And speaking of Skyrim, aka “The Second Coming in Video Game Form”, three days remain until release at the time that I’m writing this. I know that you all have preordered and will be ready to pick it up on November 11th at your earliest convenience to join me in vomiting rainbows for the next few months while each previous “good” game shrivels pathetically before its might.

Skyrim. It will make you do this.

All fanboyism aside, I’m looking forward to an awesome game that will in almost no way disappoint me (though I am a bit peeved about the skill system).

Then this brings me to the first half of this musing’s billing, Lollipop Chainsaw. I was sent this trailer by a close friend of mine, given only the instructions “Watch this”. And I did. And now, you can too.

Watched it? Well, there we go. I’m not sure what to say to be honest. It’s from Grasshopper Manufacture, another brainchild of Suda51 from the look of it. A high school cheerleader with a chainsaw fighting zombies, a hack and slash that I think that Suda would make if he were asked to remake Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Will I be getting it? Probably, though certainly not because of a short skirted blonde hacking apart zombies…honest…fine, I'm lying, sue me...

Oh, sweet merciful Lord! Bubbles has a chainsaw!!!

But take a listen to the voice of Juliet, the protagonist of the game, in the trailer. I know that Tara Strong has done other work, but when I listen to the trailer with my eyes closed, I can’t shake the mental image of Timmy Turner swearing and disemboweling zombies…kind of makes it hard to oogle the hot blonde when she sounds like a ten year old boy. Just saying.

And that’s it for another musing! I have nothing more from my mouth for you. See ya later!

Madcap's Game Reviews - "X-Men: Destiny"

Xbox 360 Box Art

….and then X-Men Destiny happened.  The funny thing, though, is that before the game actually appeared on display at my local Wal-Mart, I had heard absolutely nothing about it. And I mean nothing, which means one of two things.  Either that I’m not on the up and up as much as I thought I was, or the studio and publisher realized they had a massive pile of feces on their hands and wanted it to slip by unnoticed.  Well, from the reviews I’ve read, it certainly hasn’t done that.

So, I figured the only logical step was to subject myself to the potential psychological torture.  Getting the game and now having beaten it…I’m more disappointed than I thought I’d be.  If the title didn’t give it away, the game is about the X-Men of Marvel Comics, a team of people born with strange and wondrous powers who fight a war against others of their kind so they can protect humanity and encourage peaceful co-existence between humans and mutants.

So how can a studio fail to make a good game based on a nearly fifty year long publication history complete with several deep and complex characters and deep, intricate storylines?  In a word: astonishingly.  But does it really deserve all the hate it seems to be getting? No, say, and here’s why.

It’s a beat ‘em up. The game would like to have you think it’s an action RPG, but it’s not.  A drop down menu with one or two word dialogue options does not make it an RPG.  The “moral choices” are strictly to change some minor details. Early on, the player can start earning points towards the X-Men or Brotherhood of Mutants factions and it becomes entirely pointless because the player is then given the option later on of which team they wish to join.

I’d almost liken it to Fable and it’s karma system, except there’s no actual weight to any of the choices. Whether Brotherhood or X-Men, the story ends up panning out the same way. The whole storyline just has the minor changes depending on choices and on which of the three different characters you pick at the beginning of the game.

I’d tell you about the gameplay, but if you’ve played any beat ‘em up, just add some superpowers and you’ve played this.  All in all, I would say it’s something to showcase the X-Men in all their glory to potential fans (and once more just, sarcastic airquotes, bowing before the awesome that is Wolverine), but then the fans are really the only ones who are going to be interested in this to begin with.

It all smacks of laziness and a cheap cash-in.  It’s definitely not worth what it costs and I doubt it’ll even come close to making it all back…

"X-Men Destiny" is now available from Activison and Silicon Knights and is available on Xbox 360, Playstation 3, Wii, and Nintendo DS.

This review is based on the Xbox 360 version.